Chapter Eighteen
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CARLO TOOK HIS TIMEto appear relaxed as he could. To keep his heart steady and his breathing comfortable. Nanshe curled around him, still asleep after their bout in bed. She had been magnificent; wonderful in ways he had never experienced. But he could not shake what he saw in the past. No matter how he looked at it, his connection to her and history was why he was her mate, but it also meant so much more.
He would also lead to her demise.
Perhaps he should correct himself.
It wasn't that hewould, but hehad. Countless times. Each time in the past she was screaming and crying for him, telling him she loved him and would always be by his side. But his anger was too powerful and the rage at whatever happened between them made him lose his grip on reality and destroy her.
Over and over, he saw her broken body littering the floor in front of him. Heard the wail coming up and out through his ravaged throat, from the depths of his soul, when he realized he had destroyed the woman he was meant to always protect.
When he emerged from the loss of his mind, he was full of remorse.
Every.
Single.
Time.
Why would she seek him out over and over again? Why she would give herself to him and let him be around her was beyond him. Perhaps her selflessness was why she did it over and over.
Because each time, somehow, she was reborn and lived once again, only to be broken by him—again. What did this all mean? What was so important between them that she had lived countless lives to go through this with him each and every time?
So many fucking times in history. In different locations and places. And what the fuck was wrong with Skuld that no matter how many times she lost, she still attacked again? What was going on with these Norns? What type of battle of epic proportions were they truly fighting? Not knowing the answers to any of these questions, but understanding one thing before anything else, Carlo made his decision.
He had to leave Nanshe behind.
Now that he had claimed her and tasted what it was like to be with her, now that he knew the beauty and wonders of her body, there was no way he would risk harming her. The Chaos may have been necessary to win this battle, and he would be sure to be there when the time called, but he would stay as far away from his mate as possible.
She deserved to have a different fate than him. And how horrible was it for them that life had decided a long time ago they would be the beginning and end of the other? It wasn't fair they couldn't enjoy happiness. That they couldn't have a life where they had their love and could survive.
But maybe being given their great powers meant they had to sacrifice something. They wouldn't be able to have happiness the way other people did and only could share moments in time where they were as one.
Carlo could be grateful for this. And he wished for a moment he could take her again. That he could connect with her once more in bed and see the way her body responded. Her pleasure at being taken by him and making her climax over and over and over again.
How he wished this didn't have to be the last time they’d come together. How he wished their pasts and futures were different.
And maybe that's what Nanshe had been trying to do all along, what she hadn't been able to tell him. The rules binding her in pain to not tell him they were meant to fail. But she would try for him anyway. What kind of love had he created in her that even through death, space, and time, she still came for him?
That no matter what happened, she still longed for him?
Carlo was humbled as well as disgusted with himself. He was no good as a wolf when he had broken the one covenant they all held in the sanctity of mates: they were to always remain safe.
But he had not done that. He had failed her.
Not in this life.
No. This time around, he would protect her due to all the things hehadn'tdone in the past. He would pay attention. He’d accepted being the King of History sooner than he had in those dreams, but he couldn't risk it meant he’d changed.
