He couldn't risk her.
No matter how much he wanted to be the man of her dreams and stay at her side, he would make sure she remained safe.
With this new control over his power, he would be aware of threats and return to Encantado when he was needed. And now that he had accepted the Chaos, he could teleport on his own, without the help of Nanshe.
He was her equal in every way, but finding out he was her equal had actually destroyed them.
“I'm so sorry,” he whispered into her ear.
She would not be awake, of course, and wouldn't hear him, but he hoped sometime down the line, she would understand this sacrifice. She knew the path, like he did, and understood they could not tell anyone else. They would never be able to share what they knew.
This time, he was sacrificing for her in the way she had sacrificed for him.
In that moment, Carlo realized how important Nanshe was and how much he regretted every second his fear had denied him a connection with his mate. Every moment he fought against what she’d said had wasted countless hours not being together.
He should have claimed her the moment they were in the Chaos so they could have explored their relationship more. There could have been some foundation, and she could have had at least one more moment than he could give her now.
Or maybe had he given in to his need and loved her as she deserved.
He traced her fingers with his. There would never be another woman in all the timelines of his existence who would matter more than Nanshe. From now on, in any life they shared, he would be honest and could finally promise her what he’d never been able to promise before.
I will always belong to you, Nanshe. No matter your name, no matter the face. Your soul will always be connected to me, this I swear to the Chaos itself. Or it may take me away. But for now, I'm finally going to protect you.
Nanshe frowned in her sleep but didn't awake, and he was happy for that.
If she knew what he planned to do, she would argue with him. She would fight. And he would have no choice in it. So Carlo did what he had to do and let his mate sleep.
He carefully got out of bed and quietly snuck out of the room. On silent feet, he slipped out of the house, not wanting to wake up anyone and let them see where he was going.
Carlo didn't think he had enough control over the Chaos to portal directly out of the house, and he was sure that doing something so close to Nanshe would warn her. Instead, he would leave and get far away before he decided to attempt using a portal.
He stopped outside, memorizing everything around him. By leaving her, he was also leaving his pack. He knew he couldn’t tell Arturo anything, or the Alpha would try to stop him. But wolves understood when it came to their mates, so he wouldn’t be ostracized. He figured he could write a simple note.
He snuck back inside and found his way to Arturo's office where he rummaged around for a piece of paper and a pen.
I promise you, cousin, I will be back when you need me. But for now, I must protect my mate. Do not let her try to follow me. Trust me. This is better for all of us. She will understand.
Signing his name, he left it on the desk, trailing his fingers across the wood. How he would miss Moretti Pack lands. Hell, he would even miss having his balls punched and stomped on by Isadora.
But this would be safer for them all. Even if it broke his fucking heart.
He passed back through the house and out the front doors. Each of the packs had vehicles they could use, but he didn’t want to cause them to have to search. Also, they had tracking devices in them. He’d installed those fucking tracking devices himself, and they’d be able to find him quickly.
Carlo relied on his wolf, reaching for the now Chaos-infused animal inside him. He pulled on the power. It rolled over him, much different from before. Instead of being on four legs, he was on two, his body looking more like the werewolves that belonged in human paranormal fiction.
Fuck me.
He could tell the difference too. The strength, the power. Even now, he was more human than wolf, still able to logically control his actions. The use of the eyesight and his sense of smell. There was much more of a symbiotic relationship between him and the wolf in this state. They were as one instead of the human taking a backseat as the wolf took over.
Carlo refrained from howling at the joyous coming together, for this moment was not one he could celebrate, even feeling this new power. He raced away in one leap, taking him much farther than five at a full gallop as the wolf.
This was him as a Chaos holder, as a King of History. He was much more powerful, faster, harder, sharper—just like Nanshe had told him he would be.
Just the thought of her name made his knees go weak and made him want to go back to her, but he hardened himself against it and kept running. This was for her, like he should have done so many other times.
He would not see his fist piercing her chest, gripping her heart on the other side before he let her fall away. He would never do that. He would always protect her.
Carlo ran harder, streaking through a broken Encantado and not stopping. When he reached the opposite edge of Scorched Earth, it was much quieter. There would be no one seeking asylum or wanting to get through one of the portals. He was safe from any prying eyes. He was far enough away from pack lands that he should be able to call the Chaos and attempt to move through it without running the risk of anyone being aware of portal magic.
