CORALINE
Isit in the living room, still trying to process everything I witnessed. I feel free and yet guilty because Merelyn’s life was collateral damage. I haven’t stopped crying; the tears just keep falling out. I only want to sulk and dwell in guilt in Gavin’s arms. I want to stretch out and lie beside him, and ask him to never let me go.
But I’m the reason why he has to plan a funeral.
“Gavin,” I choke up, playing with my fingers nervously—popping them one by one as I keep my vision trained on the wooden floors. The same wooden floors we played truth or dare on. The same room where we indulged in brain chemistry-altering, intimate sex. The same cabin where I feel revived after being in the dark for so long. I don’t know how to say goodbye. I don’t want to, but I must.
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry I dragged you guys into this. I didn’t know Maya would do this to me.”
“I swear to fuck, Coraline,” he quips with an edge. “Don’t be sorry. None of this is your fault. I don’t want to hear it. Don’t guilt yourself,” he says from across the room. He’s standing, looking at a framed photo of him and Merelyn together fishing.
I nod, brushing away another tear with my knuckle.
“What I want to hear you say,” he turns around with reddened eyes, staring straight at me, “is that you’ll stay. Stay here with me.”
“Gavin…” I breathe, already pulling back from him. The air in the room shifts. The spark that always makes its presence known when we’re around each other doesn’t ignite.
He stalked me.
“I lost Merelyn. Don’t make me lose you, too.”
I shake my head, dropping my chin in defeat because I know what comes out of my mouth next is going to hurt him.
“Damn it, Coraline. You feel it too. I’m in love with you.”
He stands in front of me.
“I’m in the middle of a divorce. I need space and time to think. I need to be on my own. My trust issues just upgraded a tier, and I don’t want you to fix what another man broke. It’s not fair to you. I can give you my body, but my heart is…” I shake my head as my vision blurs. Everything just feels like it’s too much.
“I have a lot of healing, thinking, and growing to do.”
It wouldn’t be fair to him and to me if I just ignored every sad bone in my body and the things Gavin did to get me here.
Due to the investigation, I can’t leave Sleepy Coldwater for another few days, but my parents are flying in now that they know where I am. I’m going to stay with them in a hotel and book the first flight out of here. I don’t want to leave Gavin, but I need to pull myself together. Alone.
“You don't have to do anything. I’ll wait. I’ll wait for you even if it means I get the broken parts of you.Wait with meand stay.”
“Gavin…”
He’s not listening.
I grab my bag. One of Matt’s police officers is going to take me to a hotel of my choosing.
“I have to go. You can’t make me stay here.”
“The hell I can’t. I’ll tie you up to my bed if I have to, keep fucking you until I get you pregnant.”
I scoff.
“You’re obsessed,” I clip, rising to my feet. “That isn’t love.”
“Hell yes, I am.Obsession can be love. I’ve never felt like this before, so I know it’s real. It hurts when you don’t look at me. It hurts whenyou are hurting. It hurts to say those three words, and you don’t say them back. I’ll do anything for you. Everything that I do will be for you. You want my heart? I’ll cut it out of my chest and give it to you. If you want the snow to stop, I’ll take you anywhere you want to go and find the bluest beach there is. You want me to get on my knees? I’ll find the prettiest, biggest ring I can before I’m on them. I’ll do anything for you, sweetheart.” He grabs my hands with both of his. He’s shaking. “Make me the wealthiest man and stay, baby.”
“Gavin! That isn’t fair!” I hiccup, as my tone heightens, slipping away from him. “I can’t! You can’t love me after only a few weeks! You stalked me! You brought me here to Alaska. You hacked my GPS to bring me to you. This is…it’s unbelievable. It wasn’t normal.”
“So you think I’m like him?” His shoulders rise and fall for a long beat. “You think I’m like my father?”
“That’s not what I meant.” I sigh. “I have to leave.”
