Deliciously sore between my legs and in no hurry to get up, I was dozing when I could have sworn I heard the murmur of conversation right outside my room. When I opened my eyes, I was alone in my bed. Murph has work today, so I didn’t expect him to stay with me, but I still missed him.
Ben nods. “I tried to wake you, but then I got bored and went downstairs.”
When he wiggles around, I let him go.
He flops around a bit, causing the mattress to bounce and making me thankful that my morning sickness is a thing of the past, then sits cross-legged on the bed. “Mommy?”
“Yes, baby?” I glance at the window. How long have I been asleep? With the curtains covered, I have no clue what time it is, but I'd better get up soon.
“We don’t have a house anymore.”
I look at him, confused. “What are you talking about?”
“After Daddy died, you said we were selling the house and making new memories.”
What’s that got to do with anything?
Holding the sheet up to my chest, I sit up. “That’s right. We stayed with Grandma and your grandpas. Do you want to live with them?”
I love my family, but there’s a reason I was grateful to move away to college. I was ready to have my own life, set my own routines, and decorate things my way.
“Maybe we could buy this house?”
I frown as I study Ben. Buying houses out of the blue is a strange thing for him to bring up. He loves Win, Murph, and Joel, but for him to start talking about moving into this home permanently, and his sudden refusal to meet my eye points to one thing.
“Were you listening at the door to a conversation again?”
His cheeks flush, and he looks away.
“Benjamin Hayes. What have I told you about standing in doorways and listening to private conversations?”
Head down, he plucks at the sheet. “Not to do it.” He snaps his gaze toward me. “But I didn’t mean to. Murph said you weresleeping, and if I got bored I should go down and he would get the Lego.”
“And you got bored?”
He nods. “I went downstairs, and I heard them talking about how they liked the house, and it was too ‘spensive, and then I ‘membered that we don’t have a house, so maybe we could make this our new house?”
It’s times like these that I realize how much of Simon and me Ben has inside him. He’s so friendly and generous, always wanting to help others, just like Simon. And if that isn’t my childhood curiosity shining out of him, full of questions he’s desperate for anyone to answer, I don’t know what is. When I was a little girl, the number one reason for a two-day grounding was eavesdropping on conversations I had no business being part of.
I blow out a gusty sigh. “You have too much of me in you.”
He tilts his head. “Huh?”
I tuck the sheet under my armpits to keep it up, then motion to him. “Come here for a second.”
He scoots over, and I wrap one arm around him and look into his eyes. “I know you like it here, Ben. But buying a house… that’s a big commitment. And we still have to finish this road trip and head back home to Memphis.”
Though I’m still iffy about whether my stomach can handle such a long road trip, and I have no desire to go back to Memphis unless it’s to visit my friends and family.
Looking away, he plays with the hem of his shirt. “But you don’t want to go back there.”
I freeze. “What makes you think that?”
Have I really been so obvious?
“You were sad all the time. Grandma and Grandpas kept looking at you and shaking their heads. And when you smiled,you didn’t mean it. Not like when you smiled at Daddy or when you smile here.”
My son is too damn observant. He gets that from Simon, who could always read me like an open book.
