“You owe me a new pair of shoes,” he mutters, eyes half closed.
“I swear to God, Andreas, if you don’t open your eyes, I’m burning your entire shoe collection.”
That earns a low growl from him, and in my head I’m already counting the minutes to the private clinic where I know someone who will treat him without asking questions.
“If anything happens to those shoes, I’m wiping your P&L statements for the entire last year,” he mumbles, and without meaning to, some of the weight in my chest lifts as I shake my head.
In the weeks that follow, I settle into a routine between the university, Silas’s apartment, and home.
Lupe is caught up with Alek these days and we don’t see each other as much, but how can I say anything when I know I’ve been putting Silas first too?
I pause when the wordrelationshipsurfaces in my mind, realizing we’ve never actually defined what we are.
We always cook together, always have something to drink afterward (him tea, me hot chocolate), and we talk. He built me an Excel spreadsheet of hot chocolate brands, and by the end of the week, we had a winner based on calculated averages.
I feel guilty that at school I can’t smile at him the way I want to, can’t move as freely around him, but in the evenings we have those hours that belong entirely to us.
There’s still so much I don’t know about him. A few weeks ago a friend of his ended up in the hospital, and he’s been a little distant. I don’t know much about his family, and I can feel that certain subjects are tender ground, so I’ll let him decide when the right moment is to tell me about his past.
My programming project has started generating some results, and even though the accuracy still needs work, it’s a starting point.
The moment the bell rings marking the end of the day, I can barely contain my eagerness to get to La Condesa.
The walk to Silas’s building always settles something in me. I have to cut through the park to reach it, and by the time I arrive, whatever tension the day left behind is mostly gone.
The moment he opens the door, I can tell something is weighing on him. His eyes are slightly distant. He always looks a little surprised when he finds me at his door, like he never quite expects me to show up, and I’ll admit, I’ve become a little obsessed with that look.
After a brief kiss, he turns back toward the kitchen.
“Silas, did something happen?”
He stops mid-chop, exhaling slowly.
“I have to leave the city tomorrow for three days,” he tells me quickly.
I look at him, mildly surprised because, well, it’s sudden. But what I can’t understand is why it seems to be weighing on him this heavily.
“Does it have to do with your family?” I ask quietly.
He looks at me, and I wish I could read him better because I could swear there’s guilt in his eyes, and I don’t understand why. It’s completely normal for him to want to spend time with them.
“Yes,” he finally answers, and he comes toward me. “Will you stay here while I’m gone?”
The question catches me off guard because I’ve never stayed the night and I don’t understand why he suddenly wants me here, especially when he won’t be.
“Silas, are you sure everything’s alright?”
“I just want to know you’re safe. The building has an excellent security system. Please...”
And it’s exactly that, theplease, so vulnerable, so unlike him, that makes me nod even though I don’t fully understand the reason.
“Promise me you’ll explain what’s going on here at some point,” I tell him, tapping his temple three times with my index finger.
A smile takes over his face.
“I’m afraid not even all the formulas in the world could help you with that.”
“That’s fine. I’ve always liked testing theories. I’ll find one that works.”
