Although she’s decided what we’re doing next anyway. Her palm slides from my cheek, down my arm to my hand and then tugs me towards the door.
Tally pulls me firmly down the hallway, until I see the rest of my crew all pushing their way into Amara’s room. It’s only when I see them that I can take a deep breath and rebuild the walls around my emotions that keep everything locked away and makes me the perfect first mate. The fiercepirate.
With one more large gulp of oxygen, I walk into the room. At the same time, Tally drops my hand.
I’m not sure what hurts the most, seeing Amara awake but beaten and bruised, one eye barely open with Mabel clasped closely to her side. Or the loss of heat and comfort that Tally’s hand brought me.
Everyone has tears in their eyes, so mine go by unnoticed.Even though I think they are for a completely different reason than everyone else's.
Everything feels drained and wrung out as I walk back to my room.
Amara’s awake, Mabel is glued to her side and taking care of her. She’s awake and alive. And looked so damn happy when she looked at Mabel that it stung. She’s never looked at me with even a fraction of the emotion she was sending directly to Mabel.
My walls are still tightly in place, no one would even suspect I give a shit that my Captain is awake. But inside, I’m a mess. I need to sleep. I need to cry.
I need to fucking scream.
I stomp into my room, only to be stopped from slamming the door when a delicate hand slides across the worn wood. Tally quietly closes the door before retaking my hand and dragging me onto the bed.
I don’t have the energy to fuck now. My pussy is drier than a desert. But I also don’t have the energy to fight her as she pulls me towards the bed, in an attempt– I assume– to continue what was started earlier before we were interrupted.
My brows crinkle when she lays flat on her back without undressing and pulls me down to curl beside her, my head perched on her chest.
One arm wraps around my waist and the other wraps around my head to play with my hair.
“Get your emotions out. You’re safe here, no one can see you. Let it all out.”
Tally’s voice is soft, nothing like a command, yet my body follows it as if it was one.
The tears I’ve tried to hold back all evening fall.
Within minutes, her clothes are drenched from my tears as I fall apart on her chest. She does nothing but comfort me. Her hand alternating between massaging my scalp and playing with my hair. The arm around my waist is a weighted reminder to keep me grounded.
She isn’t fazed as I fall apart, each shard breaking over and over until the parts of me are completely unrecognisable.
She just holds me close.
And when sleep finally welcomes me into its dark grasp, Tally is still holding me tight and leaving little butterfly kisses on my head.
Chapter Twenty-Three
CYRUS
Walking across the deck with Amara is bittersweet. Bitter, because it feels like we're now miles apart from one another. But sweet, because it somewhat feels like it did before.
It feels a little more bitter when she starts talking about possible children with Mabel. Something she’s never wanted before. Having to act like my world isn’t crumbling, whilst she moves on with her life.
I’m truly happy for her, but it doesn’t dull the hurt in my heart.
Amara stops to watch the crew working, and I take a moment to enjoy the reprieve from my feelings running rampant. Until the silence is broken open by a horse galloping down the dock, heading closer and closer to the ship.
When we both look over the edge of the ship, Mabel is climbing off the horse, face red with anger as she looks up at us. I can’t help the little chuckle that breaks out of me. She’s too soft to even be remotely threatening when she’s angry.
“Oh you're in trouble, Cap.” I let out between silent chuckles as Amara winces.
But she did escape the inn this morning whilst Mabel wasstill asleep—withouttelling her where she was going.Andshe’s still extremely injured. I understand Mabel’s anger when she starts shouting.
I’m truly happy for them, but I definitely take just a little bit of joy in them arguing.
