My rib cage feels like it’s shattering, piercing all the organs in its way.
I can’t breathe, my heart sits in my throat– unbeaten.
I just need tosee her.
Amara rambles on about the ship.
There’s a few repairs still to do. But all the ones that are keeping us docked are completed. There’s no reason to stay. For everyone else, there's no reason to stay.
There’s a reason for me to stay.
But my place is on this ship. I have a loyalty to Amara, regardless of any other feelings that are currently unsettling me.
I’ve always been by her side, I belong on this ship. It’s my duty and responsibility to work here as first mate. Just like Tally takes responsibility for the things that happen on this Island.
We’re due to set sail in two days.
I have just two days left to try and talk to Tally, before we leave for god knows how long. It’ll probably be months before we get the chance to come back here for a stop. Especially as we’ve been holed up here for so long, I doubt anybody will be thirsting for a repeat vacation.
We need to talk, it’s only taken me the better part of the week to even catch some glimpses of her. But with the short timeline, I have no time to fuck around now.
Amara is still talking next to me, going on about repairsand talking about how she wants to add a wardrobe in her chambers for Mabel, blah blah blah. I gave up listening long ago. Only chiming in occasionally, to make sure I’m still somewhat in tune. It’s handy that I never have much to say and that she’s currently over talkative, I have no need to have any input in this conversation at all.
Just as Amara starts talking about the fucking freckles over Mabel’s face, I look off the boat, allowing an eye roll I cannot suppress.
Then I see her.
Tally, down on the docks. Holding the rein of a horse as she feeds it a carrot, talking to someone.
Without even a murmur to Amara, I disappear, racing down the steps to the plank to get me off this godforsaken ship.
But yet again, by the time I’m steps away from where she was, she's vanished.
Horse tied to a pole and the person she was talking to messing with something on a cart.
Did I imagine her there?
Was she even there at all?
Am I finally fucking losing it?
It happens again that night, out front of the inn.
I catch her laughter floating on the wind. A swish of her soft, long hair before she disappears around the corner.
When I follow, racing through a hedge line into an open clearing, she's nowhere to be seen.
With a growl, I head back to the inn, hoping I can catch her in the tavern tonight.
I don’t see her in the tavern.
Nor the next morning, when I stalk the halls of the inn again. Or even get a response when I pound my fist repeatedly to the door that leads upstairs to her private chambers.
Even spending an ungodly amount of time picking the lock and searching the rooms myself. Only to discover the window open, with a safety ladder attached to the outside. Which makes sense considering she’s definitely been sleeping in here but I’ve yet to catch a glimpse of her.
She’s truly made herself scarce and it’s starting to worry me beyond belief.
Every waking thought I have is about her. When I lay my head down to sleep, it's a few hours of restless dreams that are consumed by her.
