Concern settles over her features, warping the new scar she has over her eyebrow. “Everything okay?”
With a few controlled deep breaths, I finally open my mouth. “No, well maybe. I don’t know.”
Her frown dips lower. “Talk to me.”
Here goes nothing. “We’re leaving in a week, although I’m not sure if I’m ready. I know this mission is important, but you don’t really need me there for it.” This is all coming out wrong. “What I’m trying to say is… I don’t want to leave. I’ve only just figured out what Tally and I are. The thought of going back out to sea and leaving her is filling me with dread. I know I have a duty to you and the ship. This time at least… I don’t think I can come with you.”
The constriction of my lungs, forces me to stop and breathe. Although, I’m fully prepared to continue my spiral– even opening my mouth to start explaining more. I will meet every argument Amara throws at me with one of my own.
“I know, Cyrus.”
My mouth clamps shut. Wait,what?
She rolls her eyes. “Don’t look so shocked. I expected you weren't going to want to leave. I’ve spoken to Mabel about it, we both expected you to pack in your pirate days for Tally. It’s no big deal.”
I’m still shocked, blinking rapidly as I try to take in everything she just said.
“Seriously? Just like that? No arguments?” Every nerve inside me has been replaced by shock.
“Cyrus, if Mabel told me tomorrow she wanted to live on land and never set foot on a boat again, what do you think I’d do?”
I don't even need a second to think of an answer. “You’d leave and live on land.”
She grins. “Exactly. Tally owns all this.” Her hand gestures out to the expanse in front of us. “She’s not going to be able to get up and move, but you can. I also think you need it.”
I can feel the crease forming between my brows. “Why do I need it?”
“Don’t act like I don’t know the only reason you're here, is for me. I appreciate it, I truly do. But now your priorities belong to someone else and that's okay. If you ever decide to come back– which I doubt you will– there will always be a space for you.”
Suddenly, the lead weight in my stomach lessens, nolonger making me feel nauseous. It feels like I can finally breathe. “You’re really okay with me leaving the boat?”
She places her hand on my shoulder, giving a thorough squeeze. “I won’t lie and say I won’t miss you, but I understand. Besides, we'll be back plenty enough to see this place. It’s not like you’ll be allowed to forget us. You being here will give us an excuse to come back more often.”
Every last bit of weighted pressure slips from my being, every fibre inside of me settling in what feels like the first time in years.
The smile that blooms on my face is one to rival the night I first told Tally I love her. “Thank you, Amara.”
“You’re welcome, but get that big arse smile off your face. It’s weird.”
I laugh as I pull her into a hug, squeezing her with that smile still on my face.
Walking my arse back to my room. Well, very shortly it will no longer be my room. For some reason, that makes a joyous feeling spread through me.
Maybe Amara was right, I do need to leave this ship.
And walk straight into the arms of the woman I love.
Chapter Fifty-One
TALLY
I wake up on my own. The bed is cold beside me and there’s no trace of Cyrus in the room.
My throat tightens at the thought of her leaving me, until I remember this is her room. She’ll be back.
Hope is a fragile thing.
I’m about to get up and attempt to find something to wear in Cyrus’s wardrobe, when she comes back in the room. When her eyes meet mine and she realises I’m awake, she tackles me to the bed with a kiss.
