Urien sat in the wingback chair by the window, ostensibly reviewing seed catalogs. He’d been on the same page for twenty minutes. “What does it say?”
“Well, according toModern Romance Monthly, I should text Sam immediately to show interest. According toThe Rules, I should wait three days to appear unavailable. According to something called Reddit, both of those approaches will make me look either desperate or disinterested, and I should instead” - Mabon squinted at the screen - “‘slide into his DMs with a casual meme to establish rapport.’”
“What’s a DM?” Rux asked.
“Direct message, I think. On social media.”
“What’s a meme?”
“I have no idea.”
Urien closed his catalog. “We don’t have Sam’s social media.”
“No, but I could find it.” Mabon had located corporate tax havens in theCayman Islands. One barista’s Instagram couldn’t be that difficult.
“Don’t.” Urien’s voice carried that particular tone that meantI will physically stop you. “We’re already watching his cottage, following him to work, and leaving gifts on his doorstep.”
“Which he hasn’t acknowledged,” Rux muttered, still staring at his phone.
“Because you ran away before he could respond,” Mabon pointed out.
“I didn’t run…”
“You literally sprinted out the door.”
Rux’s scowl deepened. “My dragon was overwhelmed.”
Mabon returned to his screen, clicking through to a site calledThe Pickup Artist Academy. He read three sentences and felt his soul age approximately two hundred years.
“Listen to this.” He cleared his throat. “‘Demonstrate value through strategic peacocking. Wear statement pieces that prompt conversation. Neg her gently to lowerher guard and increase receptiveness to your advances.’”
“What,” Urien said slowly, “is peacocking?”
“I think it means showing off. Like a peacock’s tail display.”
“And negging?”
Mabon scanned the definition. “Giving backhanded compliments to undermine confidence and create neediness.”
Rux sat up. “That’s horrible!”
“It gets worse.” Mabon kept reading. “‘Employ the push-pull method. Show interest, then withdraw. Create emotional uncertainty to maintain engagement. Remember: she’s the prey, you’re the hunter.’”
“Absolutely not.” Urien’s voice went hard. “Sam isn’t prey.”
“Obviously not,” Mabon agreed, quickly clicking that tab closed. “He’s our Treasure, our mate, the most precious…”
“Yes, yes.” Rux waved a hand. “We know. What else does the internet say?”
Mabon pulled up another article. “‘Ten Signs She’s Just Not That Into You.’ Number one: She doesn’t respond to your texts.”
All three of them looked at Rux’s phone.
“It’s been eight days,” Rux said quietly.
“Maybe he lost the receipt,” Urien offered.
“Or maybe” - Mabon clicked another link - “we should try the advice fromCosmo. ‘Be mysterious. Don’t reveal too much about yourself. Keep him guessing.’”
