Mom:Good. We’re expecting thunderstorms over the next few hours. Hopefully, they won’t be too bad.
As Charlie was gargling with water afterward, her phone buzzed again.
Mom:How are things in New York today? I saw that a heat wave is supposed to be descending. How bad is it?
A little knot formed in the pit of Charlie’s stomach. She was going to have to tell them. She’d told her mom that a lot was changing in her life and had been relieved when her mom hadn’t pressed for details. But if Charlie didn’t tell her now, she was going to move into lying territory, which was not acceptable.
Charlie:I read the same thing, but I wouldn’t know…I’m not living there right now.
The dots bounced and stopped and bounced and stopped before finally, her mom texted,Oh?
That was an awful lot of bouncing dots for a simple oh. She was probably afraid of prying too much, given how horrible Charlie had been to her years ago when she had asked too many questions. If Charlie had felt a little sick before, she felt a lot sick now.
Charlie:Remember I mentioned a lot of changes when I first reached out a few weeks ago?
Mom:Of course.
Charlie:Well, one of them was leaving D. B. Graves. And I’mtemporarily not living in New York.
Mom:Where are you now?
The moment of truth, Charlie supposed.I’m in Key West.
Mom:KEY WEST??
Charlie grimaced. She needed to tread lightly here as to not hurt her mom’s feelings.Yeah, I’m hoping we can get together soon. If you want, that is. Maybe you and Dad could meet me somewhere halfway between us in a few weeks when your semester is over?
Mom:Nothing would make me happier than to visit. We’d even be willing to come all the way to Key West if that’s easier. We miss you.
Guilt ripped its way through Charlie’s gut, leaving what felt like a charred hole through her entire torso. Her mom was so eager to get together while Charlie was too much of a coward to do it. She was still trying to figure out who she was if not an investment bank executive at D. B. Graves and didn’t feel like she could face her parents until she had some kind of idea. And a listless, almost yoga teacher didn’t seem like her either. Though she was really enjoying the training and thought she was really going to enjoy teaching once she was certified.
Charlie:I miss you too.
Mom:Well, let us know when you’re ready, and we’ll come down.
Charlie:I will, Mom. And soon, I promise.
Charlie hadn’t planned on telling them she was in Florida that morning but felt unexpected relief once she had. Apparently, the quasi lie by omission had been weighing on her more than she’d realized. But the guilt at continuing to be too afraid to face her parents took its place.
This was exhausting.
She’d also told her mom that she wastemporarilynot in New York. She wondered how truly temporary it was. She still owneda place there and paid her mortgage and utilities. She had closets full of clothes and a condo full of possessions that she wasn’t sure she’d ever want again. It seemed ridiculous to keep paying for an expensive piece of real estate that was little more than a storage unit. And it was another piece of excess. A holdover of an opulent lifestyle that no longer fit her.
The need to sell the place and everything in it became nearly overwhelming, but what was she going to do about it? She certainly wasn’t ready to go back to the city and handle it herself. She wished she could just donate it all to charity. But how could she do it all from Key West?
The day had not gone exactly as Charlie had wanted, despite having woken up feeling so good after hanging out with Franky the night before. Texting with her mom had opened some wounds that were still a little raw, and she was trying to process her feelings without getting paralyzed by guilt, which honestly, was the hardest part.
So as she walked into Scissor and Gavel for what was quickly becoming her evening routine, she just felt…off. She’d been a little off in training that day but had stayed and taken a class. Talia had given her a delicious assist, basically amounting to a lower back massage, while she was in child’s pose as Talia was bringing them down toward savasana. It had helped. She seemed to sense that Charlie needed a little extra care.
She hadn’t realized it until that day, but the pleasure of human touch was something she’d nearly forgotten about over the past few years. She hadn’t dated in a long time, and she didn’t have any close friends that she hugged. Clearly, she hadn’t hugged her parents in a long time. And the simple act of Talia’skindness radiated through her brief relaxation assist and altered Charlie’s perception.
She normally received posture alignment assists while she was taking classes, a lot of which was a part of the teacher training curriculum, so it was also what she focused on when practicing teaching: helping a yogi realize that their arms were angled in warrior II or assisting them with balance in dancer or tree pose. But the relaxation assists during the wind down of class were different. The whole reason for them was to make the student feel good.
As she thought about it, Charlie wondered if she’d never focused on those because she’d forgotten how good a platonic touch could feel. Hell, she’d really enjoyed snuggling with Franky the night before, and that wasn’t even a human touch. Clearly, she’d been too dismissive of relaxation assists.
The bar was a little slow that evening. Normally, if she got there at six, there were only a couple of open seats, but tonight, only a handful of people were there, and more than half of the tables were empty.
“My favorite dog sitter and Franky’s new best friend. What can I get for you?” Harper said as Charlie slid onto her seat.
