Shaw powered down her window and stuck her head out. “Hey, sexy! I’ve missed your face.”
“I’ve missed yours more,” I told her honestly.
There must have been something in my voice, or maybe I’d let my smile slip, but Shaw’s bright smile dimmed the closer I got. Opening the passenger door, she jumped out and engulfed me in a hug.
“You okay?” she whispered.
“Well, this was kind of dropped on me,” I laughed. “But other than that, ya know.”
Her hand caught mine, and our fingers automatically entwined. “Sure,” she agreed. “Jags, I’m sitting in the back with my bestie.”
“No problem, dimples,” he assured her as he opened a door for her while Luca stored our cases.
My plane was kept in a private hangar at a small airport. Jagger and Luca made conversation the entire drive, while Shaw laid her head on my shoulder. She didn’t ask what was wrong, but I knew she would pounce on me the moment we were alone.
I hadn’t told her any of what I’d been feeling lately. For one, it seemed stupid. A month before, I hadn’t been feeling so vulnerable. Maybe a teeny-tiny bit, but nothing like this. Now, I couldn’t even shower without feeling sick when I soaped my body.
For another, Shaw was a model, for fuck’s sake. She was the face of several fashion brands and had her own makeup line now. There was even a bra named for her. After each of her pregnancies, she’d actually lost weight. She didn’t have any extra jiggle or rolls or stretch marks. It wasn’t that I was jealous of her. I loved her body. But she wouldn’t understand what I was feeling because she’d never had to look at herself in the mirror and wonder how her husband could stomach touching her.
Violet
From the momentthe pilot landed on the private island, I was pissed. I’d figured we were going somewhere nice, but this was too much. Mainly because I knew everyone would be in bathing suits all weekend, and I was well aware of what I did and didn’t have in my closet for a trip like this.
I hadn’t been in my bikini since the previous summer. Admittedly, I’d lost a few pounds since then, but too much remained for me to want to be walking around in little else for two days. At our pool at home, maybe I could have built up the courage. In front of my husband, our best friends, and—from the second jet that was already being refueled—my brother-in-law and his in-laws?
No way.
Had anyone thought to ask me if I wanted to come here, I would have told them to fuck off.
But I hadn’t been asked, and I could already feel the heat of embarrassment climbing my neck before we even disembarked the plane.
Two golf carts were waiting on us a safe distance away, each with drivers in khaki shorts and polo shirts. One rushed over totake our bags, while the other informed us that Mr. Fontana and his family were already at the house.
Perfect.
Shooting Luca a glare cold enough that he shrank back a little, I stomped over to one of the carts and slid across the back seat. “Shaw!” I snarled, letting them all know I was only receptive to her sitting with me.
The guys could go in the second one. I didn’t care as long as I didn’t have to look at either of them. I heard both of them sigh as Shaw gave them a finger wave before taking a seat beside me.
As the man drove us toward a huge mansion in the distance, my bestie slid an arm around my shoulders. “Okay, spill.”
“Did you know about this?” I seethed, taking in our tropical surroundings. Coconut palms. Exotic plants. Crystal-clear water. Pink sandy beaches. In the distance, I thought I saw fins sticking out of the water. Sharks? Good, maybe I would feed my husband to them.
“I suspected it was somewhere warm,” Shaw said with a shrug. “But why are you pissed? You’ve been so cold lately that I thought you would love a few days baking in the sun.”
“Cold?” I repeated, tearing my gaze off the ocean to frown at her. “Why do people keep thinking that I’m cold?”
“Oh, I don’t know,” she said sarcastically, eyeing my outfit dispassionately. “Maybe because you’ve been living in sweats and giant hoodies for weeks now. You dress like you’re freezing. Can’t a girl get her best friend to flash her a little peek at the goods from time to time?”
I tucked my hands around my waist and felt my stomach jiggle as the cart bounced over a few rocks. “That isn’t because I’m cold,” I admitted after a moment, tucking my chin to my chest.
“Then what the fuck is wrong with you?” she demanded, thankfully keeping her voice low so the driver couldn’t hear us over the hum of the electric engine.
“Because,” I mumbled.
“I’m going to need you to use your big-girl words so I can figure out how to help you here, babe.” When I pressed my lips into a hard line to keep my chin from trembling, she grabbed my face, turning my head so I was looking at her.
Blue eyes scanned over mine for a moment before her breath hitched out. “Talk to me, babe. You know how scared I get when you go quiet. Please. I need you to be okay. Just tell me what I can do to make whatever is going on better, and I’ll do it.”
