“Okay. Come on, we’re going to be late for practice. Later, Kai,” she says as she tugs on my shirt. I don’t bother with thepleasantries. We turn and head in the direction of the gym. I don’t need to look over my shoulder to know he’s staring at me. I can feel his eyes burning a hole in my back.
“What the hell was that about?” Jenna whispers and weaves her arm in mine as we walk away.
I sigh. “I don’t know. He is trying to talk or work things out with us. But he’s infuriating. All I’ve asked him for is space and he can’t do that. He can’t even admit that he has feelings for me, so I’m not quite sure where we stand.”
“But you know that he does and he has basically done everything short of groveling. Isn’t that enough?” she probes.
“If he feels for me what I feel for him, he needs to be able to say that—or at the very least, fight for me. Don’t I deserve that? Whose side are you on?” I ask, slightly annoyed and already exhausted from this conversation.
“Listen, baby, I’m Switzerland in this scenario. You’re both my best friends and I can’t take sides. I hate that he hurt you. But I think we all know how bad he feels about his mistakes. Is this about him declaring his love or about punishing him?” As frustrating as it is, I know Jenna is being honest and probably telling me things I’m not ready to hear yet.
“He hurt me in a way that I never thought he would. I’m not ready to forgive him yet. I’m not ready to be friends with him again. Okay?” I respond, hoping she will drop it.
“Okay. All I’m saying is waiting for Kai to express his feelings might be futile. You know he has a hard time talking about things. But he does love you, you know, and he would do anything for you. Except leave you alone. That’s probably a tough one for him to swallow. So maybe cut him a little slack?” she suggests gently. I’m sure it must be hard for her to get caught in the middle of this feud between us.
“I’ll try. I just don’t know how he feels or what he wants.”
“Kendall, he has been in love with you since we were twelve and that is a hill I’m willing to die on. The three of us have been friends for how long and he has never once looked at me the way he looks at you. He has never been protective over me the way he is with you. Christ, he has never started fights with guys that wanted to hook up with me and there have been many. It always used to make me a little jealous but now I get it. Trust me on this. He may not be able to say it, but he shows it in his own ways all the time,” she counters, like she had that argument locked and loaded.
After Akio finally goes down, I FaceTime her and within seconds, her beautiful sun kissed face pops up on my screen.
“I don’t think I’ll ever get used to the fact that you are now a brunette and have a better tan than me,” I joke, plopping myself down on the couch.
“Yeah yeah,” she laughs. “Where’s my nephew. Already asleep?” she wonders.
“I just put him down. So, how are you? How’s California?”
“I’m good. Work is busy. California is amazing. You guys should really come visit soon. How are you and Akio?”
“We’re good. Same ol’. Listen…I met up with Kai a few weeks ago—"
“What?!” she exclaims.
“Just listen. He met Akio today and I’m like completely spinning out,” I admit, not wasting any time.
“Okay, we’ll revisit the fact that you guys met up and didn’t tell me later,” she says, raising her eyebrows. “How did it go today?”
“Really good. He’s so good with him, Jenna, and he brought flowers and gifts.”
“Well, of course he is. It’s Kai, and he’s his father,” she responds while opening an unidentified snack out of view from the camera.
“Please keep your voice down.” I warn. “Akio doesn’t know yet. I’m not sure if he’ll really understand or be confused.”
“Shit, sorry. How did you introduce him?” she asks while munching on a carrot.
“As my friend…” Which wasn’t exactly a lie but it wasn’t the truth either. He had been my friend, my best friend, once.
“And is that what he is…your friend?” she presses.
“I don’t know. All I know is ever since he reappeared in our lives, everything has been off kilter. I don’t know what to do.”
“Well, did you call me for comfort or advice?”
“Both?” It comes out more like a question than a statement.
“My honest opinion or the watered down version?”
Then all of a sudden, I hear her fiancé, Amir, shout from somewhere else in the apartment, “Be nice, Jenna!”
