“Yes, Kai, it is. I’ve gotten over it and so should you. Besides, it was never going to work with him anyways,” she admits, inching closer to me, her arms brushing against my chest, her face so close I can feel her breath on my lips.
“Why?” I ask, my breath quickening.
“You know why.”
“I’d like to hear you say it, Kendall,” I respond, doubling down.
“Because I don’t know how to not love you either.”
“I know we are taking things slow but I’m having a very hard time restraining myself from kissing you in this hospital bathroom,” I admit, allowing my knuckles to graze her cheek and cupping her face in my hand. Kendall had always been just out of my reach, out of my league, untouchable. Until she wasn’t. Until I realized the attraction went both ways. Now here I am, feeling very much like my seventeen year old self, chasing after my first crush, like I still have something to prove. Begging her with everything I have to give me a chance, to stay, to cross that line with me again. The only difference is that now, we have more to lose.
Did she still taste like sweet sin? Would she still come undone when I flick my tongue against her pulse point?These are suddenly the only questions I need answers to.
“So, stop restraining—" I cut off her words with a kiss that’s aggressive, feral, and completelyunrestrained. I tilt her head back, needing more of her, and slip my tongue in her mouth greedily. She opens for me without hesitation, letting me explore her. It’s enough to elicit a whimper from the back of her throat.Fuck, I’m in trouble.Thisis trouble. Her tongue slides against mine and this kiss feels like mistakes and promises, home and heartache. I grip her neck with one hand as my other hand snakes around her waist, pressing her chest flush to mine. Her fingers rake my hair while my hands start roaming the curves of her body, just as a moan escapes her lips.
“Mm, Kai,” she murmurs, pulling away gently.
“Not done with you yet,” I growl. I want nothing more than to reacquaint myself with the burning temptation of her body. I need to know what she likes now and exactly how she likes it. I want to relearn every whimper, every moan, every gasp andknow I’m responsible for it, that I’ve earned it. I trace her jaw with my nose and proceed to kiss my way from her cheek all the way down to her collarbone. She shivers beneath my touch when my mouth lingers underneath her ear and melts back into me.That’s a resounding yes.
“God, I missed you, miss the way you taste,” I whisper against her skin. No woman has ever tasted as good as she does. Like summer and sunshine.
“Kai,” she pleads while simultaneously placing her hand on my chest to stop me.
I sigh in exasperation, knowing this fantasy turned reality is about to be cut short.
“Yes, Kendall?”
“As much as I missed you and this, I really don’t think we should do anything further in this hospital bathroom with Akio right behind the door.” Her words tell one story while her eyes tell another. She wants this just as badly as I do. She presses her forehead to mine and gives me a light chaste kiss on the lips. “To be continued at a more appropriate time and location?” she rasps.
“To be continued.” I repeat her words and place a kiss on her forehead, because at this point, I would do anything this woman asks.
Chapter 21
Kendall
SuddenlyI’mtransportedintime back to senior year of high school. We’re eighteen, in Kai’s bed, sharing our first kiss. It’s hands and heat, fire and passion. It’s tangled limbs and wild hearts and inexperience. It’s everything we feel but can’t say. It’s crossing a line we both know we can’t come back from. He kisses me like he’s been waiting his whole life and goddamn it if he doesn’t make every second count.
When I think back on this moment years later, the versions vary but the end result is always the same. We kiss for the first time and it’s nothing short ofmagic. I’ll claim I made the first move because I told him not to stop when his fingers started dancing on my skin. He’ll say he made the first move because he leaned in to kiss me. Either way, it’s earth shattering, reality altering. A kiss to measure all others against. I had no way of knowing it at the time, but this kiss would set an impossible standard for every guy that came after him.
And then I’m firmly back in the present. I’m staring at Kai, my oldest friend and first love, his dark eyes shining down on me with an emotion I can’t place. If it weren’t for him hangingon to me so tightly, I would be struggling to remain upright. Somehow, I’m lucky enough to experience a second first kiss with him and I send a silent prayer to the universe that it's the last first kiss that I ever have. I hope against hope that whatever this beautiful broken thing is between us, that this time, it ends in forever. Because I want to keep him so badly it hurts. I want to keep him in a way that feels illegal. Unattainable.Irrevocable.
My lips tingle, my skin vibrating from his touch. I forgot how my body reacts to his like there’s this undeniable magnetic pull between us. There’s little stopping me from fucking him right here in this bathroom—other than Akio’s presence less than five feet away. I have to exercise some sort of self-control before we do something we can’t undo, right?
Right?
I step out of the bathroom and adjust my shirt, smoothing down my hair. Thankfully, Akio begs me to watch some videos with him, so I don’t have to dissect the near mental breakdown I almost had. Hooking up with him here, now, would have been a lapse in sanity, a mistake. I’m just tired, overemotional, in need of comfort and Kai was there.
He keeps his hands to himself the rest of the time we’re at the hospital. But he remains close, never leaving my side, like a shadow. He reminds me how fierce and loyal of a protector he is, that if only for tonight, we belong to each other.
***
Wedon’tendupleaving the hospital until just after one. I know Kai can sense my exhaustion because he offers to drive us home in his car and I don’t argue with him about it. Barely able to keep my eyes open and desperately needing my bed, I shuffle behind Kai as he carries a snoring Akio on his shoulder. Once we get to the car, I slide into the passenger seatwhile Kai puts Akio in the car seat. I lay my head back and blow out a tired breath.
“It’s been a long day and tomorrow is going to be even longer at work,” I say to no one in particular.
“You’re not going to work tomorrow and neither am I,” he tells me after he turns my car on.
“Kai, what are you talking about?” I turn to look at him incredulously. “I have to go to work and so do you, I imagine. Besides, I'm getting low on sick days. I can’t really afford to take a day off tomorrow,” I explain, slightly embarrassed.
