“H-how?” I stammer, not sure how I’m putting words together.
“It doesn’t matter how I found out, what matters is what you plan to do about it,” he says, his tone sharp, his words clipped. I can’t believe we’re having this conversation.
“I’m supposed to go to the clinic today. Have you talked to Kai about this at all? I feel uncomfortable discussing this with you when—"
He cuts me off. “No, and he doesn’t know I’m here. He’s not even aware that I know about thesituationand I’d like to keep it that way.”
“Okay. So why exactly are you here?”
“To ensure Kai’s future stays intact. This kind of thing, this kind of scandal could ruin his career before it even starts. I think we both know you are too young to raise a child on your own. I’m hoping we both want what’s best for him—for both of you,” he explains.
“And what is that? What do you want from me?” I demand, starting to sense where this conversation is going.
“I want you to have it taken care of, discretely. I’ll help cover the cost and then some. Or have the baby and use the money to start over. But either way, leave Kai out of it.”
I ball my hands into fists, rage threatening to take over. “And if I don’t?” I counter.
“Ultimately, the choice is up to you. But if you love him, you won’t destroy his future or his career,” he postures.
“Get out,” I yell through gritted teeth, my hands trembling.
“Please, Kendall, think about my offer—"
“You have a lot of nerve coming here behind Kai’s back and trying to bribe me to have an abortion!” I shriek. I clasp my elbows with my hands and fight back tears in an attempt to keep all my emotions from spilling over at once. “I wonder what he would think if he knew you thought so little of him, of me, of our relationship. Kai always described you as cold and callous, said you were a difficult person to understand and even harder to love. But I defended you, tried to give you the benefit of the doubt. But I get it now, what he meant.”
He stares at me in disbelief, his face haunted and devoid of color as his defenses slowly start to come down. I don’t know if it’s embarrassment or shame. I realize I might have gone a step too far, but I don’t care. Neither of us says anything for a few seconds.
He sighs, his features softening. “Kendall, you've always been like family to us. Just think about what I’m saying. You’re young, smart, you have so much potential. You can still be a lawyerand Kai can still play in the NHL. Neither of you should have to give up the things that you’ve been working your whole life to achieve.”
I glare at him.
“Except each other, right?” I ask coldly. “This has been the hardest day on top of the most difficult week of my life and your presence here has made it infinitely worse. You don’t have to worry. I’ll have it taken care of without your money. Now please get the hell out of my apartment.” He looks like he wants to say something else but doesn’t. Thankfully, he leaves without another word and I slam the door shut behind him. I feel sick to my stomach and not from morning sickness and not because my boyfriend’s father just tried to buy my compliance. But because I know at my core there’s some truth to his father’s words.
This wasn’t the first time Takura expressed concerns about our relationship or the first time he meddled when he probably shouldn’t have. But it’s the first time it leaves me feeling wrecked and hollow. The only things left are dread, rage, and impossible choices.
Getting drafted straight out of college to the NHL is a pipe dream and he might never get an opportunity like this again. I can’t let him risk his future for me, everything he’s been working relentlessly for. I peel back the curtain covering my small dining room window and watch his dad slowly walk away from my apartment, get in his SUV, and drive off. I feel humiliated and dehumanized. But I have more clarity than I’ve had in a long time. The events of the past week, more notably today, have illuminated three simple truths for me.
I love Kai.
I’m having this baby.
To protect him, I need to do the hardest thing I have ever had to do and let him go.
Chapter 41
Kendall
2014
I’mlyinginthethreadbare woven hammock that’s stationed between two sprawling oak trees in the backyard of our summer cottage. It’s warm but getting cooler out as the ocean breeze sweeps over me. Kai and I are in Cape Cod vacationing with both our families, the summer after sophomore year of college. It's the only time of year Kai is granted a break from his demanding hockey schedule. We spend our nights laughing, kissing, holding each other, touching to the extent that we can with both our parents a few doors down. We spend our days soaking up the sun, swimming, filling up on ice cream and exploring North Truro.
His father’s low authoritative voice carries over to me. I stop and close the book I’m reading to listen. I don’t think they know I’m back here.
“You know you’re going to have to get even more serious about hockey, Kai. You can’t afford to have any distractions,” he informs him.
“I don’t. You know my schedule, my routine. I barely have time for anything else,” Kai argues.
“Except Kendall,” Takura indicates, leaving something unspoken.
