As far as I’m concerned, Trent got a much needed ass kicking and Jax did everyone else a public service. But really, it’s not my opinion that matters, it’s Emma’s and I feel terrible for putting her in this position. Apparently, Trent, the walking red flag that he is, was stalking Emma’s Instagram stories even though she blocked him on all of her social media platforms. He saw that we were at the Bucks game and snippets from the beginning of the night at La Vela. Then the drunk angry idiot decided to comeconfront her. Maybe Jax’ presence will deter him from doing it again, maybe it will add fuel to the fire. I have a dreadful sinking feeling—like lead attached to my feet—that Trent is not easily deterred. Not when it comes to Emma.
Emma is sitting at the kitchen table, a glass of water clutched in her hand. Her eyes are a little red and swollen from crying. I insisted she stay at my apartment with Kai, Akio, and me, given how shaken up she is. I definitely don’t want her driving to see Maddox alone. She fights me on it before calling her mom to tell her she will stop by to pick up Maddox in the morning. Based on her mom’s reaction, this isn’t the first time something like this has happened. And my intuition tells me he’s done much worse than this before. I don’t have to ask.
“Are you okay?” I finally whisper as I settle down in the seat across from her. I’ve never been in a situation like this and I don’t know what else to say. There’s no handbook for when your best friend gets harassed by her abusive ex-husband, while on a date with someone you set her up with. But I really wish there was.
“Not really,” she replies. “I haven’t felt like that in a long time.” She pauses. “Scared of him, scared for myself and the people around me. I’m so fucking embarrassed that you had to see that. That Jax had to deal with that,” she admits wearily.
“Em, why are you embarrassed? You didn’t do anything wrong.”
“I’m ashamed that I let him treat me like that for so long. That I let it go on for years and that tonight, other people witnessed it.” Her head is in her hands now. “I spent so long trying to get out from under his grip, his drinking, his mistakes. And things were better for a while. But somehow, I ended up right back here with him breaking me down and me letting him.”
“Em, I don’t think you are repeating cycles or patterns. I think Trent is a psychotic asshole who showed up unannounced, cornered you, and preyed on the fact that you’d be in public.”
“Yeah, I guess,” she murmurs, biting her lip. “Trent may be a dick but he’s not stupid. Well, not entirely,” she observes, looking down at her hands.
“I don’t want to pry but is there more to this than you’re telling me?” I hedge. “Because all of this kind of seems like Trent’s fault.”
She blows out a long breath and doesn’t answer me for a few moments. “I’ve blocked him, his phone number. He doesn’t have access to my social media accounts or at least he shouldn’t. But sometimes he tries to contact me on burner phones. And I just wanted to have one fucking night to myself, to have fun,” she sighs. “And unfortunately with Trent, it’s easier on everyone involved to respond to him, pacify him. Rather than ignore him. I thought if I gave him a few updates about Maddox, he would leave me alone. But instead, he showed up at La Vela. I’m really sorry, Ken.”
“Please don’t apologize. I still don’t think you did anything wrong. I thought you were going to be pissed at me because of Jax. I also hate that you were going through this alone for so long. I’m here for whatever you guys need, you know that, right?”
“Of course I do. Wait, what do you mean? Why would I be pissed at you because of Jax?”
“I don’t know, maybe if I hadn't set you guys up none of this would have happened.”
“Trust me, Ken. It would have sooner or later. I can’t escape him forever. I just need to figure out how to deal with him better without him becoming a petulant, angry, manchild. And honestly, the fact that Jax stood up for me, having only knownme for two hours was kind of hot. It only made me like him more.”
“So, what you’re saying is thank you Kendall, you are an expert matchmaker?” I joke, trying to bring some levity to the conversation.
“You’re pushing it, Ken,” she laughs. I get up and move to her side of the table and wrap her in a bear hug, my chin resting on top of her dirty blonde hair. I squeeze her small frame tightly, hoping she can feel how much I love and care about her. Sometimes people come into our lives that we wish we had met much sooner. So we could spend more time with them, know them longer. Emma is one of those people.
“Fuck Trent,” I whisper and kiss the top of her head. “You deserve so much better. You deserve every good thing that is coming to you.”
“Yeah, you’re right. Fuck him,” she replies.
Chapter 64
Kai
2016
Isquirminmyseatthat’s far too small for my body as I wait for the people ahead of me on the plane to exit. The scent of stale coffee and food linger in the air like fog, making my stomach even more uneasy. I’m itching to get off the flight, eager to say the words I’ve been reciting for three hours to the one person that I know needs to hear them. I’m also terrified of what will happen when I find her, but even more scared of what will happen if I don’t.
I move through the airport baggage claim and exit to find the bustling pick-up lane where I’m supposed to meet my Uber. I’m overdressed and fucking sweating. It’s frigid in New England right now. But North Carolina is warm, welcoming, 57 degrees and partially sunny. A slight breeze sweeps my face, but it does nothing to cool me down or calm my nerves. I wish I could say I’m visiting North Carolina for the first time for pleasure, but it’s for closure. This is my Hail Mary, my last-ditch effort, my final attempt to right whatever the hell had gone so wrong between Kendall and me.
I check local coffee shops, bookstores, museums, restaurants, and art galleries in Durham first. Places I know Kendall would likely be drawn to. The majority of them are small holes in the wall, that most people wouldn’t give a second glance. But Kendall isn’t most people. She has a knack for finding the beauty in forgotten, overlooked things. Having virtually no luck at any of those, I make my way to Duke.
It’s stunning, pristine, and meticulously cared for even in winter. The sprawling lawns, gothic architecture, and lush greenery draw me in instantly. No wonder Kendall fell in love with this place when she first came to visit in eighth grade. It’s unique and beautiful exactly like her. I stroll around campus, and into a few different buildings hoping to see her face, the one that’s been plaguing my dreams.
After two and a half hours of searching for her with no success, I stop to sit on a bench and clear my head. She has to be here somewhere. If she’s enrolled in fall semester classes, then she has to be somewhere on this campus. The dorms, an apartment building, a lecture hall, a dining hall. Somewhere. My phone buzzing in my pocket interrupts my anxiety ridden thoughts.
“Hey, Dad, I can’t really—”
But his deep demanding voice cuts me off. “Kai? I was just at your apartment hoping to catch up with you after practice. Are you going to be home soon?” he asks briskly. So typical of my father. He doesn’t even have the decency to ask how I’m doing.
“No, Dad. I’m not going to be home soon. I’m not even in Boston,” I sigh, running my hands through my hair. It feels thick and a little greasy.
When is the last time I showered?
