“How did you get an invitation?”Sal asked.
“I have a few family friends who gave up theirs.Being a nepo baby has its perks,” he jested, raising a brow.
Sal laughed alongside him.“Finally, you’re admitting it?”She giggled.
Rafa twirled her around and held her close again.“Only with you.”He grinned, eyeing her tenderly, and rested his head lightly against hers.“You’re a vision, and I’ve missed you.”
Sal pulled herself away as they waltzed and looked into his eyes.“Rafa…I have something to tell you,” she said, her eyes searching for something, but he couldn’t tell what.Perhaps this was the day they would get back together?He could only hold his breath.
“Is this about Harmon?”he asked, still slow dancing with her in the middle of the ballroom.
She blinked slowly and, with a knowing gaze, nodded.“I’m in love with him,” she said.The cleanest strike was the most merciful, Rafa believed, but it still took him aback.No matter how much he had prepared himself for the possibility, something in him broke.This moment was a cataclysmic shift that rendered him incapable of speaking as the world seemed to tilt around him.He peered into her eyes, his entire being ruptured in two, a wholeness no longer present.He had always seen Sal as his soul mate, the woman he met after losing a dear friend, someone who made sense of his life, who called to his heart and spoke to his inner demons.By God, he truly loved her.She was still the same person five minutes ago, before she confessed she was in love with someone else, but somehow, his idea of her changed, and he didn’t know what to do with it.
At that moment, Rafa thought of his father.Though he was gone, his father’s teachings were ingrained in him.He had told Rafa that life would test him, it would burn him, it would taunt his ego, and pull at his weaknesses, and during those times, he must ask himself one thing—that when the strike was blown, and the harm was done, what kind of man did he wish to become?
What kind of man do I wish to become?He repeated in his head.
His pace with Sal slowed, but he held her gaze.She looked at him the way a child would, hoping their parents wouldn’t be angry at them.But he wasn’t her father.He was her lover, no more.The corners of his eyes collapsed as he struggled to control his emotions.“Well…” he said, voice cracking.“Is he at least kinder to you now?”
At his last words, Sal’s eyes widened.She looked at him with a raw anguish he had never seen before on her face.Her lower lip trembled and tears gathered in her eyes as she buried her face in his chest and wept.“I’m sorry…I’m sorry.”
Rafa held her close and slowly moved her away from the crowd.Once they were out of everyone else’s sight, he embraced her tightly and listened to her sob.He felt a tear drop from his right eye as he took deep breaths in between her heaving, and all the while he wondered if this was the sound of love dying.
Chapter Thirty-Eight
The Moon Bears Witness
RAFA
“Let’stakearidebefore the night ends,” he asked after they calmed down.Sal agreed and said her goodbyes to Willow, and then to Harmon and Baron.
“Theola will be here soon,” Willow said as she hugged Sal.“Are you going with Rafa?”she asked, sounding concerned.Sal nodded, and after more hugs and well wishes, Willow set off with Baron while Harmon stayed behind and turned his attention to Sal.
Almost instinctively, Rafa looked away.“I’ll warm up the car,” he announced and left them alone to talk.Rafa climbed into the car and turned it on, watching as Harmon spoke to Sal.Sal looked natural as she always had, and Harmon looked warmer and more open.That was most likely her influence; Sal had that effect on him too.Again, the realization that she was no longer his broke him.He watched as she looked back at his car and waved goodbye to Harmon.
As soon as she entered, Rafa turned toward her and asked, “Where to, Sal?”It was a loaded question, but Sal understood; she always understood.
She blinked slowly, looking at him with a softness in her gaze.“There’s a place I know overlooking Manila Bay.We could park there.”Sal knew he felt calmer near bodies of water, and he loved her for thinking of it for this drive.
The ride was calm and silent; the quiet was never lonely with Sal, and he hoped she felt the same.Soon, they finally parked at a pretty place overlooking Manila Bay.The moon cast dancing reflections on the black waters, and for a short while they kept still, until finally Rafa spoke, “So is your old phone still working?”
Sal looked at him, her brows scrunched together in confusion.“Wait…” she asked, “How did you—?”
Rafa grinned.“I found it.”
“How?”Sal asked, looking puzzled.
He looked away and focused on the view.“I asked a friend who owned a security company what to do, and voilà, he tracked your phone.”
“Why didn’t you tell me, though?”
Rafa shrugged.“I wanted to give you space,” he said.“I promised I would.”He looked toward her hesitantly and said, “But it looks like you’ve decided, more or less.”
Sal’s eyes filled with tears again as she shifted her weight to her side.“I love you, I do.I love everything you’ve done for me, for Claire, for Kimmy and Hana.But I’m at a point in my life where I’m finally living for myself, and I can’t be what you want me to be.Not now, at least.I feel so guilty for keeping you waiting for something I can’t promise to give you.”
“Did it ever occur to you I wouldn’t mind waiting?”he said, his voice coming out rushed.“There is no version of my life I can think of without you.”He pressed his hand to his chest as though to stop his heart from breaking.“I’ve done everything I could for us, so why wasn’t it enough?I’m so…I’m so angry, Sal.At me, at you and all of this,” he said.
“You are enough, Rafa,” Sal responded, holding his hand.
