Thom tightened his jaw, unease building in his gut. “That isn’t why she protected me,” he said. “Ilain made her accusation out of grief, and Brea denied it.”
“Yeah, well, she would, wouldn’t she?”
Thom rolled his eyes. “She doesn’t want me that way,” he insisted, knowing the truth but unwilling to share it.
Though he didn’t understand her avoidance, Thom knew Brea couldn’t have an interest in him. She was in love with someone else. Moreover, she carried that bloody purpose of hers: She’d marry a Mage whether she loved him or not because she believed in the cause of the Alliance more than her personal desires. She would selflessly wed a man she didn’t love rather than be with the man of her secret affection.
Though Thom couldn’t deny the strange way Ilain had thrown that nickname back in Brea’s face.“Te’caro.”
Over the last two weeks, Brea and Isla had begun to teach Thom the basics of the Schonese language. While he would not become fluent anytime soon, he already understood the basic concepts of their foreign dialect.Miwas self-explanatory. “Me” or “my” when directly accompanying another word.Tecame similarly. “You” or “yours.” The second part of the endearment was more challenging to decipher. Schonese depended heavily on gender, altering words based on the subject. Therefore, if Thom were to introduce Deckard in Schonese, he would say“mi’broso,”while he would call their sister, Meria,“mi’brosa.”
Mi’caro. Te’caro.The gender didn’t change despite its possessive link to Brea because the subject remained the same: Thom.
Of course, Thom had asked Brea whatmi’caromeant. She’d teased him with a Schonese explanation at first, but he pressed, “In Allundan, Brea.”
She leveled him with her dark stare. “You won’t like it,” she said.
“Doesn’t matter though, does it? You’re going to call me by it anyway.”
Brea shrugged. “True.” She’d sat forward, smirking. “It means ‘little dog.’”
Thom furrowed his brow. “What, like a small dog or like a puppy?”
“I don’t know the Allundan word,” she said. “It’s the baby dogs.”
“Puppies.”
“What a ridiculous word,” she laughed but nodded firmly. “Puppy it is.”
“You’re calling me ‘your puppy.’”
“Yes, because you’re cute and floppy.” She reached across to flip the hair from his forehead backward at the last bit.
Thom frowned in disappointment. “I don’t like that.”
“I warned you that you wouldn’t.”
In the moment, Thom had accepted it. But then Isla pointed out one of the farm dogs they passed on their journey, using it as a point of teaching for him. “We don’t have dogs in Schon, just wolves, and they’re calledlobis.If the gender is known, then they’reloboorloba.”
Thom frowned and asked, “And what do you call their pups?”
“Lobites.”
From that moment on, Thom knew Brea had lied to him. But he couldn’t figure out why.
Thom didn’t believe Ilain’s declaration. Even if Brea held a foolish infatuation with him, she wasn’t in love with him.Mi’carowas always said in a joking manner anyway. She didn’t mean it, whatever its translation. But perhaps it meant more than he’d once thought....
Regardless, Thom wouldn’t act upon whatever interest—or lack thereof—either one of them held because he couldn’t imagine a life with a woman like Brea.
For Thom was tired. Tired of fighting and striving, tired of struggling and failing. He wasn’t cut out for this life of glory and grandeur. He’d already known that. And yet, he’d practically gotten himself killed trying to be the hero—trying, once again, to be his brother.
He was done pursuing the reverence of others. And he wasn’t about to chase after a Warrior who was intended to rule their nation either.
Thom liked Brea and was attracted to her, but that didn’t mean he wanted to be with her.
Shrugging away the irritating thoughts, Thom glanced over his shoulder toward Ilain and Vayden, riding just behind him.Another mistake to mend,he thought. Whether the siblings blamed him or not, it was his fault Auden was dead. If he hadn’t been foolish enough to think himself capable of heroism, imagining himself strong enough to break through the enemy and get the group to safety, he wouldn’t have rushed forward in the fray. He wouldn’t have given Brea a reason to abandon Auden.
Just then, Evylin appeared at Thom’s side, breaking into his self-pitying reverie. “You’re replacing me,” she said with mock offense.
