His gaze was haunted as though envisioning that future. “I wouldn’t have brought you into that horrible life only to make you a widow.”
“You wouldn’t have died,” she said with a playful tug on his collar. “I would have demanded you let me come along, and I would have protected you. Then we both would have discovered our magic and made Ostwatch our kingdom.”
Deckard raised a brow skeptically.
With fondness, Evylin rubbed the crease between his eyes. “With or without Hewitt,” she said, “I would have married you. But if we must live within the parameters that necessitate our marriage in the same timeline, then so be it. Either way, I shouldn’t have held onto him so tightly. I should have trusted you with my whole heart the moment I realized how wonderful you were. If I had, we would have been in love within weeks.”
Though he didn’t look convinced, Deckard didn’t argue her claim.
“If I had loved him less,” she whispered with new understanding, “I would have loved you more.”
Disapprovingly, his eyes narrowed, and Evylin smirked, amused at his dedication to the surly veteran-turned-smith.Seeing that he didn’t understand, she said, “Because of Hewitt, I never told you about Ryen.”
Deckard’s expression shifted then, and Evylin realized that he already knew. Somehow, he’d learned of her beloved cousin without her uttering a word.
“He told you?” she asked.
He dipped his chin in confirmation.
“Hewitt was my replacement for him,” she explained. “He was the only thing that kept my broken heart beating. And as I grew older, I never let go. I never recovered from the loss of Ryen. I clung to him through Hewitt as though I could keep him alive by sheer will. And when you showed up, you threatened my love for him.”
In surprise, Deckard drew his shoulders back.
“I was so afraid of you,” Evylin whispered. “Of how much I liked you. My heart was ready to be yours—to let you mend the brokenness that kept me from loving others. And that frightened me. Even as I began to love you, I held myself back from you because I couldn’t fathom letting Ryen go.”
Evylin caught both of his hands in hers. “In another life,” she whispered, “one where I wasn’t so afraid, where Hewitt wasn’t my everything—my heart would have been yours within weeks. Not because Hewitt stood in our way himself, but because I used him as a shield against you. I hid behind him because he was my memory of the boy I lost too soon. In that other life, I wouldn’t have feared giving myself to you because I wouldn’t have clung to the brokenness of my past.
“And now,” Evylin sighed, shaking her head even as she held his gaze, “you think you can’t make me happy without him. That our love isbecauseof him.” She squeezed his hands. “It’s not true. I would have loved you with or without Hewitt’s support. I will always love you—with or without him beside us. And youhave made me happier than I ever imagined in only four months’ time.”
The moment the flow of her words came to an end, Deckard kissed her again. A shiver raced down her spine at his fervency. Bursts of joy and affection erupted between them. Heat coiled within her chest. She could feel every ounce of his love pulsating within her.
Evylin angled closer to him, but the horses snorted their complaints. Deckard pulled back, reaching for her waist even as she was preparing to swing her leg over the saddle so she could join him on his horse.
“Hey!” Thom’s voice echoed through the trees.
They both froze in mid-motion. Far up the road, Thom waited, a sly grin on his lips. “You two mind finishing this up later?” he said. “We’ve got somewhere to be.”
With a chuckle, Evylin settled back down on her own saddle. But Deckard waved his brother away. “We’ll be right there,” he promised.
Though he eyed them with dubious amusement, Thom guided his horse around and cantered away.
Evylin turned back to Deckard as he brushed her hair behind her ear. “Are you sure?” he asked.
“Am I sure of what?” she replied, mind still slightly muddled by their kisses.
“Are you sure that you’re happy?” he said. “Are you sure that you’ll be all right without him?”
Evylin took a deep breath, her heart squeezing at the thought. But she said, “Yes. I will miss him—desperately. But I have you, and I know I’ll be more than all right with you by my side.”
CHAPTER FORTY-FOUR
17TH OF RADIA, 1574
They reached the village of Acre in the early afternoon, finding an acceptable inn before Evylin and Deckard left for Hewitt’s grave, which was a short ride away.
Uncharacteristically, Hewitt requested to say one last goodbye to the troop. So they gathered in Thom, Rafferty, and Brea’s room (the inn didn’t have enough rooms for Brea to sleep on her own), everyone cluttering up the small space. As Vayden, Isla, and Brea had never known Hewitt well, they excused themselves from the meeting, relaxing in the tavern on the main floor of the inn to provide a more private farewell for the troop.
Now, Rafferty sat on the footboard of one of the single beds, Thom at his side. Ethenn and Ilain stood together near the far wall. Evylin fought the rising tears in her throat while Deckard took the Night Relic from his brother.
