Deckard lowered their hands to the bed between them, and she inhaled deeply. She met his eyes and said, “This is my gift to you: I am at your side, no matter what.”
A bemused pinch pulled Deckard’s brows together.
“Throughout my life, I’ve sought one thing: to see Ryen’s and my dream come to life. I achieved that. Yet, over all that time, I’ve come to understand that it wasn’t enough. I crave adventure, yes, but that isn’t all I want. I also desire a home, security, and happiness. I long for both adventure and normalcy, yet I know now that neither choice will ever be enough.”
Evylin scooted closer. “Do you remember,” she said, “when we released Hewitt, and I asked him about—about his ‘more’?”
“I remember.” Deckard’s smile had vanished, leaving confusion heavy around him. “I can’t say I fully understood it, but I grasped the sentiment.”
“Well,” she said, lightly tracing her fingers along the back of his hand, “I always wanted to escape Whickam Village, convinced there had to be ‘more’ to life. I believed there was something grand out there that would make life truly worthwhile. Since childhood, I’ve thought that something was adventure, as Ryen and I imagined.
“But the moment I left, I recognized that the world mirrored my home. Each settlement felt identical; some were just bigger or smaller, but they all shared a commonality. I considered then that perhaps the world wasn’t as exciting as I expected. Yet, I held out hope that genuine adventures were waiting for me.”
She smiled. “Then we saved the prince, met Mages, fought a dragon, and... We had every adventure Ryen and I had planned—aside from becoming pirates, of course.” They shared a laugh before she self-derisively concluded, “And it was horrible.”
Deckard’s smile disappeared as she tightened her grip on his hands. “Death terrifies me, Jonn,” she confessed. “The thought of losing you, Thom, Ilain, Ethenn, Brea, Vayden, or anyone else is paralyzing. I hadn’t recognized before how significant the fear of death can be in adventure.”
Sympathy enveloped them as Deckard leaned closer. She sensed his desire to offer comfort, although he struggled to findthe right words. That was fine with her; she already had plenty to express herself.
“Regardless of my fears,” Evylin held their hands tightly together, “I’ve realized one truth: I’m a Warrior. Though travel can be uneventful and adventure carries its price, my love for it endures. Deep down, a part of me will always yearn for more of it.”
Evylin paused, her face flushing and her throat going dry with the emotions swelling inside her. She focused on their hands for a moment, struggling to retrieve her courage and find her voice.
Meeting her husband’s affectionate gaze filled her with the strength she needed.
“With that in mind,” Evylin emphasized her words with strength and clarity, “I now understand that my past dreams aren’t sufficient. They don’t truly enhance this world. If you told me right now that you wanted us to remain here in Aulton, working as clerks in this palace and never traveling again, I wouldn’t feel sad. If you expressed a desire to return to Nettershire and take over your father’s farm, I would be happy to accompany you. If you decided to move to gloomy West Allund and live in dismal Dunneshead, I would follow you there.”
Although Deckard appeared apprehensive, they both laughed at the last one.
“I would do any of those things for you,” Evylin promised. “Because I finally know the answer.”
A heartbeat passed, and Deckard tilted his head to the side. “What answer?”
Evylin smiled at him, feeling perhaps lighter and happier than ever. “It’s you,” she said. “You’re my ‘more.’”
If Evylin ever doubted Deckard’s affection for her, the wonder and warmth in his gaze, along with the love and joy he felt at that moment, dispelled any uncertainty permanently.
Evylin found herself smiling brightly. “This world is so much richer with you by my side and far less vibrant when you’re not there.” She continued with determination, “So I won’t decide our future. I won’t choose who we become or what path we take because I trust that you’ll stand by me no matter what, regardless of your true feelings.
“I won’t allow you to endure a future less than you are,” she asserted. “I want your happiness to match mine. You deserve to be happy, Jonn, and to become the man you aspire to be.”
A brief flicker of fear glimmered in Deckard’s eyes. He cleared his throat. “I don’t know who that man is,” he said.
“Don’t you?” Evylin asked soothingly.
The breath he exhaled sounded labored. “Who do you want me to be?”
“I want you to beyou.”
Deckard scoffed and shook his head. There was a certain level of exasperation around him, but she could tell it wasn’t aimed at her. Instead, it was directed at himself.
“Who doyouwant to be?” she asked.
Pulling one hand free, Deckard ran it along his jaw. “I don’t know.”
“You don’t know, or you don’t want to say?”
That brought an edge of irritation toward her. Yet, it vanished instantly as he sighed, “I don’t want to admit it.”
