Bella
FFS MUM IS THAT A BLACK EYE? WHAT HAPPENED?
Zara
Guys, I think you’ll be proud of me. I went to a beach rave. Like there was a DJ and everything.
Mike
That doesn’t explain the black eye, Z? Did you fall? Have you got it checked out?
Zara
I got into a fight at the rave. Some bitch with a big ring clipped me.
Jay
Yes Mum. Respect.
Mike
What sort of fkn retreat is this? Is it like Fight Club?
Jay
What’s Fight Club?
Bella
It’s a film you idiot. Srsly Mum, what fight?
Zara
Some drunk nasty girls on the beach called me Grandma and I threw it down.
Mike
You threw it down? Were you drunk? High? What about the other people on this retreat? What about the man who was supposed to be looking after you?
Bella
Yh where was “Pedro”?
Zara
He didn’t start it. He broke it all up and he got us all home safely. Chill.
Bella
*cringe* you’re so embarrassing, can you BEHAVE like a normal mother?
Mike:
Maybe go get some frozen peas on it, love?
Zara
It looks worse than it is. I yanked out a hair extension. I’m going to bring it home as a souvenir. It was exhilarating to get all of that out of my system.
