with every move. I can lie flat now, which feels like a treat after so many days trying to sleep on my stomach without moving.
The house is so quiet. You’d think I would enjoy it, but I prefer noise. For once I’d prefer the idiots in this house to chatter so that I don’t have time to think. To ponder. It’s been four days since I arrived home and I’ve heard nothing from Carlos. A few times I nearly caved and texted him, but the last thing I want is for him to think I care.
I stand from the bed and walk into my bathroom, and look at myself in the mirror. I reach behind myself and run the tips of my fingers over the wounds. It’s still tender enough for me to flinch, but that’s progress. I can move easier without gritting my teeth.
Dima is to thank for that as he hired a doctor to make sure I was looking after myself correctly, on the right medication and doing some gentle exercises. I’ve even had my favorite meals cooked for me by Kai. Obviously I’m in no shape to go back to work, but they have all been quietly supportive.
Except for Carlos. You would think he would want to know how I’m doing, if I’m still alive.
After I manage to wash and dress myself, I decide it's time I start trying to do things for myself and go downstairs to make a coffee. I put on a light t-shirt that doesn’t hurt my skin, and a pair of grey sweats with thick white socks, and take my time walking down the stairs. Caution is key here.
There is nobody around when I enter the kitchen so I make my drink without any issue. Leaning against the worktop, the heat from the mug is soothing against the cold air that's leaking through the partially open window. The city at this time of year will be a frozen city of steel and smoke. But here I feel suspended and cocooned. Between memory and future.
I take a sip of my drink when Seb comes in, who looks ready to go for his standard morning run.
“Simon. You’re up early, are you okay?” Seb asks, checking me from top to toe for hidden injuries.
“You need to stop. I’m fine and just want to get back to normal.”
“That’s good to hear. Now that you are up and about, I was hoping you would come to the bar tonight? Kai will be there. Thought it would be nice to have a drink. Get out of the house.”
“Huh. That's actually a good idea.”
“Great!”
“Why are you so cheerful this morning?” Lev grumbles at Seb as he walks in.
“Simon’s coming to the bar tonight for a drink.”
Lev turns to look at me, and unlike Seb, it’s probably to check that I’m not being forced to socialize.
“Good.”
“I think so. I’m off for a run, see you losers later,” Seb says before leaving.
“Are you sure you’re up for the bar?” Lev says, assessing me for lies.
“Lev, stop. Please be normal and act like you don’t give a shit.”
“I’m only asking. Tyler said we have to be more emotional and aware of your feelings.”
“Please don’t listen to Ty. Just treat me normal.”
“I know you are. It’s all the fuckers we’re allowing into the family that have issues.”
“Have you…err…have you heard anything about Carlos?”
Lev waits before answering.
“I think D did. Why?”
“No reason, just wondered what happened after we left.”
“I can show you, I filmed it for Aaron.”
“I heard. Just forward to me and I’ll watch it later,” I say. Why the hell did I say that?
“Cool. I’ve gotta head out, see you later.”
