She takes my hand tightly before shutting her eyes for a moment and taking a deep breath. “Every time, we’ve used one.”
“Well, there’s a number of reasons for them to not be fully effective,” the doctor replies.
I’m not exactly sure if this guy thinks he’s being helpful or just an ass. But I know which one Mia feels like he’s being.
Her eyes ignite. This news might have knocked her back, but I still wouldn’t bet against her ability to have him in tears in two minutes.
“We appreciate you running the second test, and we understand that you’re very busy, so if there’s anything else…”
Dr. Bell taps on his clipboard as he looks over her stuff one more painfully slow time. “No, Miss Wright, after your fluids are done, they will discharge you. I’d recommend scheduling an OB/GYN appointment after this. Have a good night.”
The moment he disappears around the curtain, Mia turns to the nurse. “Please tell me the fluids are done. I would really like to process this literally anywhere but here.”
She doesn’t even have to voice her response for Mia to know the answer. I look over at the half-filled bag hanging from the hook. “If we could get a moment alone, that’d be great.”
The nurse looks to Mia for confirmation, and when she nods, she gives me a half smile. “I’ll get discharge paperwork started.”
“Thank you.” I wait a solid three seconds of us being alone before slowly moving to sit on the side of Mia’s bed so I can face her.
Fuck, she looks absolutely terrified. Nothing could have prepared me to hear that the woman I’m falling for is pregnant, but hell, this look on her face is killing me.
“Mia—”
Her head falls against my shoulder. “I know this is awful, but please, can we not do this here? I just need time to process this…we’re having a baby.” She whispers the last part softly, but I can hear the fight to not cry in her voice.
“We can wait.” My hand cradles the back of her head. I knew this conversation wouldn’t get too far here, and frankly I don’t even know what to say.
Mia rests her head on my shoulder while she takes her fluids. Not speaking a word or shedding a tear from what I can tell. I’ve never really considered mind reading to be the superpower I would want, but hell, I could really use that now.
My mind hasn’t stopped thinking of the idea of a baby. My baby—with Mia. The baby I’m the father of…
And that is exactly when I start to spiral.
A dad. I’m going to be a father. Shit, I don’t know the first thing about being a good dad. I suppose I could talk to Jett and Dex about it. God knows I want nothing from my father, but those guys seem to have it figured out.
And then there’s Mia…
Whatever this is between us is so new, but I can see myself spending my life with her. I love her confidence, her intelligence—I want to be with her. I still fucking do. There’re no “buts” about it. But I don’t know how we’re going to navigate this—and that feels fucking terrifying.
This isn’t an “Oh, I don’t like sleeping with the TV on” or some other small bullshit that you work through in the beginning of a relationship. This is both of our lives being completely altered.
Mia’s body being completely hijacked on top of that. I can’t say I know what it’s like to be pregnant, but I’ve seen what Lucie’s been going through. How do I tell her I’m okay if she makes a decision she feels is right for her, but that I want to keep seeing her, no matter what?
I haven’t the slightest clue what she’s thinking…there’s not a single part of this I can control or make better, and it’s killing me. How the hell am I going to handle this? What if I fuck it up and lose her?
I haven’t felt this helpless in so long, and I hate it.
Finally, the nurse comes back and gets Mia’s IV out, and she signs all the paperwork. I keep quiet, only responding when spoken to, and simply listening to the nurse as she tells Mia to take it slow and gives her some peanut butter crackers to eat. After a cracker, Mia asks the nurse a few questions.
How soon should she see her OB? Did her test show anything else she should be concerned about? How far along is she?
I mostly listen, just in awe of her. My brain capacity feels maxed out. But Mia…the moment she finally lifted her head off my shoulder and ate that cracker, I could see that resilience sparking again.
The entire ride back to her place is as equally silent as it was at the hospital. We both knew there was no way this conversation was about to be unpacked in the car, and I damn sure didn’t want to have to split my attention between her and the road while we talked.
By the time we walk in her apartment, it’s like this wall hits us. The fever dream becomes reality, and we both know it’s time we talk.
But when I look at Mia, she doesn’t get a word out before her tears fall. I reach for her at the same time she reaches out for me. Holding her tight to my chest, I place a small kiss on the top of her head.
