Ishould’ve known it was a setup.
From the moment I’d arrived at the Smoke and Burn Lounge, I felt uneasy. Like I’d walked into a trap. The beginning chords of the Temptations classic, “Silent Night,” played over the speaker. Soon, Dennis Edwards sang the magic words, “In my mind.” Around me, several women raised their hands in appreciation while the few men there nodded their heads to the slow melody.
A stray flyer on an empty table confirmed my initial thought. I picked the thick cardstock up and studied it. The low-lit, chill nightspot had been transformed into a weird-ass Christmas-themed matchmaking event. The Mistletoe Match.
As I made my way toward the bar, a few random women stopped me to ask if I was there to be matched. To my right, ayoung woman winked at me. Another lady flashed a bright smile when I passed by her table.
And here I was thinking,What the hell am I doing here?
“Uncle!” My niece, Taylar, approached me, a huge smile on her face. “You made it.” She gave me a hug and clapped. “I’m so happy.”
Narrowing my eyes, I asked, “What did you get me into, Tay?”
“I told you, it’s our annual speed-dating event.”
“Yeah, nah.” I gripped my coat when she tried to take it from me. “I’m not doing this.”
Taylar’s shoulders fell. “Please, stay,” she begged, finally winning the tug-of-war with me.
Only because I let her.
“What’s up, Unc?” My nephew, Ryker, gave me a dap and set a bottle of my favorite beer on the bar top. “Figured you’d need this.”
I took a sip. “Why am I here, Jellybean?” She opened her mouth to speak, but I rushed on, “I don’t want the businesswoman explanation. I want the truth.”
“It’s a night out. Free food. Potential hook up.” She hunched a shoulder. “Besides, you’re a good catch.” She blew out a frustrated breath. “Based on the feedback from last year, we were missing one key demographic.”
Eyeing Taylar, I asked, “What’s that?”
She scratched the back of her neck. “Zaddy,” she grumbled.
Ryker barked out a laugh. “I believe she’s calling you old, Unc.”
“Shut up.” Taylar glared at her big brother. She pointed at the woman who just walked to the bar. “Go help that lady.” Once Ryker walked away, she turned to me. “You’re not old, Uncle Spencie. Just mature. We have some amazing boss-women who aren’t interested in that Cougar Life.”
I never had kids of my own, never really wanted to be afather, but I was a damn good uncle. And my niece—the only person on earth that could call me “Spencie” and get away with it—always managed to talk me into some bullshit. “Fine. I’ll stay. For a little while.”
Taylar beamed. “Thank you,” she whispered. For the next few minutes, she explained to me the process. Based on a profile she’d created for me, I would be matched with four different women. The goal was to talk, get to know each other, then decide if we want to take it to the next level. Seemed easy enough.
“How did you come up with these matches?” I asked.
“You remember my friend, Bliss, right?”
I nodded. “Yeah.”
“She’s the matchmaker. We’ve been doing this for several years now. I’ve already planned five weddings for past attendees.”
“You do realize I’m not going to be number six?”
“Of course, Uncle.” She led me over to a table near the front of the cigar lounge. “You’re at Table five. I’ll send your first date over.”
“What exactly isa bud and breakfast anyway?”
From across the room, I noticed Taylar and Bliss watching the scene unfold. My niece motioned at me, urging me with her hands and eyes to talk to my “date”.
“Hello?” the woman across from me pressed, a scowl on her face. From the moment she’d arrived, she’d commanded attention from the fellas. Lovely body. Check. Full lips. Check. Smooth, brown skin. Check. Foul attitude.Nah,I’m good.
“Yes?” I answered finally, not giving a damn if the boredom on my face was obvious.
