“Anyway,”—she placed a hand on my leg—“I love you. I’m here for you. And I’m going to do what I can to make the legal stuff easier for you.”
“I had no doubt,” I said. “You and Demi . . . I know everything will be good.”
“I thought I was bad.” She giggled. “Demi filed an emergency request for temporary custody and the petition to establish parentage.”
“She told me the will would only support Gemma’s request.”
“Yeah, you can’t just walk off with a baby because its mother wrote it in her will. The movies make it seem like a cakewalk.”
“Demi said I might have to stay in California until this is settled.”
“Maybe, but we’re working on that. What about work?”
One of the things I’d focused on today was my schedule. I’d made several calls to clients, letting them know I was taking time off due to a personal loss. Most of them agreed to reschedule upcoming sessions. For those who couldn’t, I referred them to one of my homeboys.
“I’m all set,” I explained.
“Good.”
My dad poked his head into the room as he knocked. “Dallas, your mother told me to tell you to get in the kitchen and peel those potatoes.”
Dallas groaned dramatically. “No, Dad. You already know how she is about her potato salad.”
He raised his hands in surrender. “You need to take that up with her. I’m just the messenger.”
Rolling her eyes, Dallas gave me a quick hug and disappeared.
“How’s Ezra?” I asked.
Dad strolled over to the bed. “Beautiful. I don’t even know how I didn’t figure this out before now. He looks like a perfect mix of you and Gemma.”
I smirked. “Yeah. I’ve been staring at him since he got here and I’m starting to see it.”
Dad took a seat next to me. “Son, I can’t say that I know what you’re going through. I know loss, I know how I felt when I lost my sister, but everybody grieves differently.”
I swallowed past a lump in my throat.
“You think you have your life figured out only to be thrust into a situation you can’t control. I’ve been there. One of the things I admire about you is your ability to compartmentalize.” He chuckled. “I saw that in action after you lost your first Little League championship but still wanted to go to Gemma’s birthday party.Andyou made sure she had the best day. I see it now every single time you stay calm during a family crisis. All of us, no matter what we do to protect ourselves, have a moment when we just can’t turn off our feelings, when things get too hard to pretend we’re okay.”
“Dad—” I said, my voice shaking with unshed tears.
“You’re in that place right now. When you agreed to donate your ‘genetic material’—” He cracked up. That huge discussion we’d had before Duke’s wedding had come back to haunt me often. “I still can’t believe you. Anyway, I know you never planned to be Ezra’s father.”
“I thought I’d considered everything,” I whispered. “My blind spot was Gemma. It never even occurred to me that she would die.”
“It never does, son.”
“How am I going to do this? How am I going to be his father?”
“One day at a time. You detached yourself from that sweet boy because that’s what you do. But he needs you now. He needs a father. And you’re going to have to work to connectwithhim.”
“I keep staring at him, wondering if I’ll ever be able to see him as my son and not my nephew. It’s like I’m watching him through a filtered lens. It’s not fair to him.”
“You’re right,” he agreed. “That’s why you have to work at it. The bond between a father and his son is deep. It’s a connection built through quiet understanding, gentle and strong guidance, shared experiences, hard-fought wins, and sometimes crushing pain. As he grows into a man, you’ll feel the gamut of emotions. He’ll get on your nerves, he’ll think he knows everything, he’ll challenge you every day. That’s nothing compared to the pride you’ll feel the first time he hits a home run, beats you inMadden, or pleads his case to skip college and travel the world. Or when he meets the woman or man that makes him want to be a better person. I’m not gonna lie, parenting is hard. But it’s rewarding, one of the most important things you’ll ever do in your life.”
“What if I . . .” I sucked in a deep, calming breath. “What if I fail?”
“I didn’t raise a failure. Now, you might not get everything right, but you know how to fix your mistakes. You know how to pivot when you need to. You know how to research when you don’t know something. You know how to love even when it’s hard. Ezra is a blessed boy.” He gripped the back of my head. “Just like I’m blessed that you’re my son. Becauseyou’re my son, because you’re your mother’s baby boy, because you carry a little bit of each one of your siblings, and because Gemma trusted you with her life and her son’s life, I’m confident that you’ll be an amazing father.”
