The expression on his face when he looked up at me was one of genuine confusion.
“I get that, but it doesn’t mean you need to repress who you are. I love hearing you fired up and pissed. Other than Libe, I’d forgotten what it was like to have someone in my life who made me want to try and better myself, so I could be good for them.”
That was the moment.Thosewere the words.
I felt my heart in my temples from the swell of emotion. From the minute Tom and I had started this, I’d wondered whatI could possibly do or add to this man’s life. He seemed to have everything, what value could I add to someone who already had so much? And now I knew.
I gave him what he gave me—the freedom to be seen exactly as I was and be loved for it, notin spiteof it.
I moved again so that I could sit in front of him face-to-face. “I never thought I’d have this, someone I could be myself with.” He looked at me like he couldn’t understand what I was saying and I laughed. “I’m too abrasive even with my best friends, who love me unconditionally, who would doanything for me.”
He shook his head like that was the most absurd thing he’d ever heard and I loved him so much for it. “You don’t need to do anything, mi vida, just keep being you, that’s all I need.”
The look on his face in that moment was everything.
I moved closer. He ended up sitting with his back to the headboard, legs spread open under the sheets. We were in our underwear, but I could see he was starting to harden, and as I ran a hand over my cock, he licked his lips, very much on the same page.
“So this conversation has been incredible and I totally want to get back to it, but I really want to fuck. Like now.”
Tom’s hand was already pushing down my briefs and I was working my way up his neck with my tongue when he panted, “But I thought we were making heartfelt confessions on how we’re perfect for each other.”
I nodded frantically as I tried very hard to come up with an answer. “Yes we were, and I’mverymoved and really restraining myself from saying all kinds of shit that’s entirely too early to say. For now, just know I am very grateful to be here with you.”
He didn’t answer, just held me tight as we sank down onto his bed, tangled in each other.
Tom
“M’ijo?”
I smiled at my mom’s question and everything she could say in one word.
“Is everything okay? Where’s Libe? This is a surprise.”
“Everything’s good, Ma. I got you on Bluetooth. I just dropped off Libe at Max’s for the weekend.”
She clicked her tongue before answering. “Ay, Tommy, why didn’t you call me when my baby was in the car?”
I grinned at her reproachful tone. Libe was the only grandchild on both sides and she was a hot commodity for her abuelos.
“Sorry, Mami. We’ll give you a call on Sunday night when she’s back home.” I cleared my throat then, a little stumped on how to proceed. It would be Christmas in two weeks and since I’d been going home to the DR religiously for the past ten years, I figured I needed to actually give my mother a call to let her know that was not happening this year.
“¿Que pasa, Tommy? Are you sure everything’s okay?”
I needed to get it out, because she was one more awkward silence away from freaking out on me.
“Everything’s good, Mamí,” I said placatingly. “Actually that’s why I’m calling.” I smiled, thinking of Camilo’s face when I told him I wasn’t going to the DR for Christmas and tried to act like it was no big deal. He pinned me with those gorgeous gray eyes and said, “I did tell you my best friend’s Dominican, right? I know for a fact they start planning the trip to the DR for next Christmas on the plane home in January. So get off that ‘no big’ bullshit you’re on, Thomas Caonabo.”
After I’d grabbed him and kissed the saltiness out of him, I’d had to `fess up to the fact that I wanted to be here with him.He didn’t fawn all over me for it, but I did notice a lot of secret smiles coming my way for the rest of that day.
“Tommy.” My mom’s genuinely confused tone finally got me out of my daydreaming and I blurted it out.
“Libe and I won’t make it this Navidad. We’re going to spend it here in New York.”
My mother almost said something then stopped. When she finally spoke, it was straight to the point. “So things are going well with your new man, then?” I could hear the smile in her voice and I shook my head, because my mother never changed. She wanted her children “fairy-tale happy”—nothing less would do.
“Things are very good, Mamí, and I’d like to be here for the holidays so I can spend time with him.”
She made an “mmhm” sound, like she had my number.
