“I owe you an apology,” he says, his voice raspy.
“You definitely don’t.”
“Well—I’m giving it to you anyway. Your apology earlier today—”
“What if we never talk about that again?”
“You took me by surprise. I know it looked like I was choosing to ignore you to placate my mom, and I know that’s a problem I’ve always had, but I had actually asked her to come over so I could talk to her. Specifically, to talk to her about the way she treats you. And about the way she treats me, too. I wanted to do that before I talked to you and apologized, but then you beat me to it and took me by surprise, which is why I froze, and I just…I need to clarify how I actually feel. Because that interaction was not indicative of my real feelings.”
“How do you actually feel?” I eke out, my throat thick. Surely there are city noises in the background, but I don’t hear anything except the beating of my heart. It may be physiologically impossible, but in this moment, I would swear on my life that I can also hear the beating of Harrison’s heart.Thump. Thump. Thump.
The corner of Harrison’s lips twitches upward as his eyes soften. “You’re the best friend I’ve ever had. I love every second I get to spend with you, even when it makes me act like a lovesick teenager. Which, to be clear, is exactly what I was for the first two years of our friendship. Now I’m just a lovesick adult.”
I dare to tentatively smile, and the change in my expression makes Harrison’s eyes sparkle like the streetlights coming in through the window.
“I wasn’t lying when I said you broke my heart in college. But what would be completely unbearable, worse than anything we’ve put each other through in the past, is going through that again and never being able to see you or hold you in my arms again. What we have is worth any risk, at least to me.”
“Me, too,” I whisper.
“And I am so, so, so sorry for the way I treated you yesterday at the cabin. It won’t happen again. I know I’m a people pleaser, but I’m trying to start advocating more for whatIwant. Which, in this case, is you,” he says, grinning. “And I want you to knowthat I told my mom everything, and things are going to be different moving forward.”
“What did you tell her?”
Harrison smiles. “I told her I was still in love with you.”
My eyes widen. “You did?”
“I did. And she was upset about it.”
“Naturally.”
“But she’s going to get over it. And I know she doesn’t act like it, but she’s impressed by you. Or, at least, she can tell you’ve changed me and made me more confident. You’ve been a good influence on me, and she knows it.”
I laugh quietly, reaching out and squeezing his hand. When I try to pull away, he locks his fingers around mine and pulls our hands into his lap for safekeeping.
“I talked to my parents today,” I say. “I decided it was time to be an adult and open up about what I was feeling.”
“I’m proud of you.” He squeezes my hand and smiles gently. “Look at us. We’re doing better already.”
“Doing better,” I agree.
He stares at me for another moment before continuing. “There’s no way I could ever forgive myself if we messed this up. I really, really want this.” His voice is pleading, even though I’ve already made it clear I agree.
“I want this, too,” I whisper.
“I know there’s a lot to figure out, but I’d like to figure it out together, as a team. I want to share your burdens, if you’ll let me. You make me believe in soulmates. You complete me. And I love you, wholly.”
“I need you to look me in the eyes, please,” I say to him, and he hesitantly stares at me. I lean forward, crawling from my beanbag to his and settling onto his lap. He wraps his arms around me, and I place my hands on his cheeks, gazing back at him intently. “I love you wholly, Harrison. I always have, and I always will.”
Without waiting another heartbeat, he kisses me, and the entire world dissolves around me as my heart re-forms itself, mending together all the pieces that fell apart over the last day and last five years. I feel my split-in-half body repairing, my limbs refastening, my mind clearing.
I can’t help myself—I start laughing, completely overcome with joy. “This is one of the happiest moments of my life, and I’m wearing a South Tampa Regional Middle School T-shirt.”
Harrison just grins at me. I suppose when you’re in love with your best friend, you already know they laugh uncontrollably when they’re happy.
“Let’s bring these beanbags downstairs before I start sneezing from this dusty-ass attic?” I ask, smiling against his lips.
Harrison blinks, as if startled back to reality. “Actually, we’re up here because there’s someone in my apartment who refused to leave.”
