But—
"Kai Pendragon. Knight of the Black Table, sworn in celibacy to God."
Kai. I see him in the salle, blade in hand, grinning. I see him carrying me from the lake. I see him in my bed, curled against me, unguarded for once in his life.
"Did you lie with him?"
"Yes."
"On how many occasions?"
"I—" I don't know. I don't know how to count it. "More than once."
"More than twice?"
"Yes."
"More than five times?"
"Yes." I want to scream at him. What does the number matter? What does any of this?—
But Morgan. Morgan's breathing. I can hear it catching, even as the smoke shrouds her from full view.
"Did you take him into your mouth?"
I flinch like he's struck me.
"Yes."
"Did you do this willingly?"
"Yes."
"Eagerly?"
The word is a slap. I feel my chin drop toward my chest.
"Yes."
"Did you call out to God during these acts?"
"I don't—I don't remember."
"Did you cry out at all?"
Jesus Christ. The specificity. The way he's making me reconstruct it, moment by moment, sound by sound?—
"Yes."
"In pleasure?"
"Yes."
"Did you, by means of your body, entice him to profess his love to you and abandon his sacred vow?”
Kai's face again. The way he looked at me when he told me if anyone hurt me,I’ll fucking kill them.
"Yes."
