“Because I belong to you.” He trails a finger down my spine that is as gentle as his whisper. “Because when this world turns to dust, I will still be yours. Every broken piece of me, every fragment, will be the jewels of your crown.”
Without even waiting for a response, he begins moving again. Kaelis’s hand reaches between my thighs to rub my clit. I can’t say anything more. All I can focus on is my building climax right up until the moment that it crashes over me, leaving me trembling.
I tighten around him, and Kaelis releases a low moan. I can imagine him watching my body twist and shudder. With a final, powerful thrust, he buries himself as deep as possible within me, reaching his own climax at last.
Wordlessly, he frees my hands, slipping from me and pulling me back. We collapse onto a sea of pillows and plush blankets. Kaelis brings my face to his, kissing me deeply, but far more relaxed, almost sloppy, as though he’s already succumbing to sleep.
“Fucking Twenty…I think you’ve ruined me,” he murmurs, eyes closed.
I study the way his long lashes rest against the swell of his cheeks through my own heavy lids. “The only things I think are ruined are our clothes and the sheets.”
The low rumble in his chest still, even after all that, makes my toes curl. He pulls me to him, arms heavy. I’m a puddle next to him, enjoying his warmth and the aroma of our sex as sleep settles heavily upon me.
Chapter 55
A hazy glow floods the room when I finally wake. We forgot to pull the curtains. We forgot a lot last night. All that mattered was breaking each other in a way that allowed us to fit together better than we ever have before.
For a moment, I’m perfectly still. His arm is heavy across my middle, holding me to him limply. I let the soft golden dawn spin its fragile peace upon me.
Finally, I shift just a little to see if he stirs. He doesn’t. I move a little more, my body protesting with the sweet aches of the night. My skin is dotted with bruises from his mouth and his hands. Nothing serious, but enough to remind me of what transpired and just how wonderful it was. I could easily magic the marks away with a thought, but I don’t, wearing them like badges.
It’s strange how we can be ready to annihilate each other one second and then be peacefully curled up the next. Maybe it is our rebellion against fate—yearning for each other despite what was lost. Anger in the betrayal of what was taken from us and passion in the merepresence of the other. Maybe it’s just our nature, and fate never had a hand in it at all.
Luckily, the mattress is soft enough that my movements don’t wake him as I wiggle free. For a man who’s lived his life on alert, Kaelis is a surprisingly heavy sleeper. I sit and assess him from the edge of the bed.
His chest rises and falls in a steady rhythm. His hair is a mess across his face, shadowing his eyes. Tiny bruises from my mouth and faint lines from my nails cross him. It always surprises me how, without his usual armor of sharp-edged arrogance, he’s gentle looking. That unguarded expression is peaceful, vulnerable, even.
Before I can stop myself, my fingertips land on his forehead, barely there. Yet his brow briefly furrows, halting me. He relaxes once more. I brush the hair from his face and smile.
The motion is so natural it startles me. This admiration. This easy rapport with him…
I pull my hand back slowly, but my eyes stay locked on him. The visions are still present in the forefront of my mind, as is the night we shared, but there is something else there. Something that terrifies me more than anything else.
I love him.
I want to push the thought away, to bury it under something—anything—else. But it’s too late now. After all I’ve seen…after last night, I can’t any longer. The truth is right in front of me, and I will not let any twist of fate take it from me.
I love Kaelis.
The truth is as freeing as it is terrifying. I’m breathless and vulnerable in a way that I don’t want to be. But in this moment alone, I can allow myself to sit with the emotion. I can allow myself to stare at him as if he is the only thing that matters to me in the world.
Kaelis shifts slightly in his sleep, murmuring something that I can’t quite make out. He sounds somewhat distressed, and, before I can second-guess myself, I lean down and press a soft kiss to his temple before I leave.
Something tells me he won’t be surprised to find me gone before he wakes. The bed cold. And that same something tells me he’ll love me even more for it.
I rise from the bed and grab my deck, barely making a sound as I tiptoe to the door of his room. I crack the door and peer out, scanning for Rewina. Not seeing her or anyone else, I quickly enter the main entry and cross for the hall that was once mine. There’s still clothing that fits me perfectly in the dresser. As I bathe and dress, I use the Five of Coins to remove the possibility of an unwanted pregnancy.
Today is a day off for me, which means I can take my time making my way back to my room to avoid anyone seeing me. Back in the professors’ wing, I re-dress in clothes befitting a professor and not a prince’s lover. By the time I emerge, some of the students are beginning to wake.
Kaelis is at breakfast, looking stunning as always. Though I don’t miss how high the collar is on the crushed velvet vest he wears over a crisp white shirt. His eyes flick my way as I take my seat, landing on me for only a second; to anyone else, he seems bored. I fight a smile and shift in my chair, enjoying the ache between my legs.
I sit at Arina’s bedside, holding her hand. She’s sedated, as she often is now. Even though she’s upright, staring out the window, her expression is vacant. Eyes dull. I reach over and tuck a strand of hair behind her ear.
“She’s going to get better,” Gregor says. But his confidence has waned over the past few months. The words are far more hollow than they ever were before.
“She will.” Yet, even as I speak, I’m not confident, either.What will happen if she doesn’t return to her former self?I dare to think. It’s the start of a nightmarish spiral. One I’ve worked to avoid. Filled with questions about how we will get the golden Star card to summon theWorld if my sister isn’t able to ink it.We won’t be able to wait forever…“I wish you could come and watch me ink the vessel; I think Mother would’ve wanted you to see.”
Arina does not respond.
