“I’m right?”He repeats in shock, as if he expected more of a fight. “I mean, yes, I am, of course I am.”
“I’m sorry for how I acted at the start of all this.” I can’t remember if I ever outright apologized to Gregor before. But better late than never.
“It’s all right.” Gregor pats my shoulder. Anyone else and I might not believe it’s that easy. But between us, I know bygones are bygones. He’s not one to hold grudges past forgiveness. “As long as you know you don’t have to do it alone. The only thing that matters is keeping us safe and getting the World. Which, speaking of, have you made any progress on the latter?”
“Somewhat. I’ve been searching the library, professors’ resources, the depths of the academy, even Kaelis’s personal study. I have one potential lead.” I tell him about the powder I gathered from the workshop of the Fool—the same powder from which I’ve been slowly extracting the strange ingredient.
“Hopefully it pans out.” The sentiment is encouraging even if he looks uncomfortable as he speaks. I can’t tell if he’s uncertain about the powder being of use, or at the idea of pilfering the true depths of the academy.
“It will, one way or another.” I try to sound optimistic, but I also don’t move to leave. I know that look. He wants to say something else.
“I…uh…” Gregor rubs the back of his neck and glances away. “I also found something. A lead? Maybe? On something. Well, I stole something worth mentioning.”
“Youstolesomething?” I press gently, letting him take his time.
“So, I’m investigating Ravin, right?” He reaches into his pocket. “I found a lead on where he might have been keeping Silas’s family—of course I pursued it—and I found what seemed like a workshop of some sort. When you mentioned this other workshop, I thought of it.”
“Where was it?”
“In a building in the city under his wife’s name,” he says. “Silas’s family wasn’t there—I think they were at some point, but they aren’t now. But I found this.”
He finally pulls out what he’s been twisting over and over. It’s a single card, torn in half and pockmarked as though someone tried to burn it. But there are no singe marks from fire. Instead, a crystalline ash sparkles on the frayed remnants. As if it were eaten from the inside out.
I already know what he’s handing me before it touches my palm.I’ve seen this once before on the rooftop of this very academy. It’s a reversed card.
The moment it comes in contact with my hand, a shock courses through me. Unseen thorny barbs constrict my right arm and knot in my chest. The marking Kaelis put upon me last year reacts just like the last time I was in the presence of a reversed card, though worse. I nearly drop it.
But I’m distracted from the pain. Instantly, I see why Gregor needed to show it to me. And why he was hesitant to do so. This card is undeniably Kaelis’s inking.
Void-born…
The whispers and warnings everyone has uttered about Kaelis my whole life return. But I banish them from my mind forcefully, even as my arm throbs.
“I thought you’d want to know.” His tone is almost apologetic.
“I…” My eyes drag back to Gregor’s. There’s a twinge of sadness in his. As though he never intended for this to happen. As if maybe part of him was coming to accept Kaelis, despite the odds. I swallow hard. “We don’t know the full story. Many Arcanists have had their cards reversed on them.”
“Does it happen to an Arcanist as skilled as him?” His implication is clear. He wants me to think Kaelisusedthis card.But Kaelis told me explicitly that he cannot wield reversed cards.Gregor’s hand lands heavy on my shoulder, acting like an anchor that keeps me grounded here and keeps me from spiraling into the hole I was already teetering on the edge of because of Arina. “I don’t know what it means, and I’m not going to find out. But maybe you will.”
Never trust Oricalis…I hear in Mother’s voice.
“Thank you for sharing this with me.” I close my hand tighter around it and place it in my pocket. Between this and the golden Death card, I have contraband from both princes. “Can you look after Arina? I…I think I need to go.”
“I have her.” He nods. “The others will be here soon.Wehave her.”“We”…He’s one of them now.He hasn’t taken their oaths, but he will. “Do what you need to do.”
Finally, he releases me, and I drag my feet out the door.
The halls of the academy are more oppressive than they have ever been. They’re too vast and too cramped at the same time. The air is so cold it burns my lungs.
The echoes of my sister’s screams, of her pain, are overwhelming.
The weight of the card in my pocket and its terrifying implications drag me down.
I stagger into a wall and cover my mouth to keep from sobbing.I can’t…I can’t lose everything again.It has been taken from me over and over and over. My sister was supposed to be the constant, my guiding star, the person I would sacrifice everything for to give everything to…but it’s not just her who fills that role anymore.
Damn it, Kaelis.
The card fragment Gregor found burns in my pocket. Doubt tears me in two. Part of me says flee. The other part says that this has become something that’s worth too much to me to let it go. I cannot abandon it, even if staying is the hardest thing I’ve ever done.
