I break into a run. Lungs burning, chest heaving. I run through halls and secret passages. I run past the font of the World and the statue’s eyes, which regard me warily tonight. I run up the secret narrow stair that connects to his closet, bursting through the door without warning.
He’s not in his room. Instead, I find him behind his desk in his office. The man is on his feet the second I enter. Even Priss rises to sit.
“Clara?” His eyes search my face, reading what’s there and somehow equally studying what isn’t.
“Kaelis.” I nearly choke on his name. I take a step toward him and stumble, as though my legs can’t bear the weight of it all a second longer.
In an instant, he’s there. Arms around me, pulling me to him, clutching me with all his might. He takes the burden of keeping me together even as my tears threaten to rattle me apart.
Chapter 45
He says nothing. Expects nothing. Merely holds me.
Never have I had someone like him—someone who wants nothing more than to comfort me. To be there for me.
Finally, Kaelis shifts, studying me. “Would you like to take dinner in my room tonight?” Out of everything I’d expected him to ask me, that was not it. And my surprise must show on my face, because he lets out a slight laugh. “I assume you are not going to head to the dining hall in this state and you should eat.”
“Please.”
We enter his bedroom, where Kaelis pulls a cord, ringing a bell. By the time we step into the dining room, Rewina is already there. I feel myself freeze as her eyes graze over me, and for a breath, I’m certain she knows who I am. But I realize it’s all paranoia, as the look is there for no more than a second, and there is no recognition within it.
“Bring us whatever looks good in the kitchen for dinner,” hedemands with his characteristic blend of unquestionable authority and casual indifference.
Rewina’s eyes flit between us, and in that fleeting glance I see the glimmer of disapproval, and perhaps curiosity, but she’s too well versed in Kaelis’s antics to let it linger—or ask any questions of the prince. With a bow of her head, she says nothing and leaves.
“Is this wise?” Even though I’m questioning him, I’m settling into my usual seat at the table. His chambers, as always, have me falling into comfortable habits with little thought. Here it becomes all too easy to pretend everything is normal, and I can’t decide if that’s what is saving me or distracting me.
“Rewina is the epitome of discretion. She’s seen women come and go for years.” Kaelis claims his place at the head of the table, leaning forward with one arm braced against the polished wood. The light of the sconces catches the sharp angles of his face, casting shadows across his features that flatter him so well.
“You invite random women to your chambers often?” I drum my fingers against the tabletop. He told me as much previously—the first night I was here, even. My jealousy and concern are feigned. But Kaelis doesn’t seem to pick up on that.
“For someone who is herself a ‘random woman’ in Rewina’s eyes, you seem surprisingly annoyed.” He places his chin into his palm with an infuriating half smirk. I roll my eyes. “Why did you come tonight?” Kaelis asks with a note of sincerity that’s impossible to dismiss. It’s the voice of the man who just held me, not the arrogant prince or the coy lover I also know well.
“I’m wondering much the same.” The undeniably reversed card—Kaelis’s card—that Gregor gave me is a weight in my pocket. A dangerous secret. A cleaver hanging over the neck of all we are becoming.
“Did you have a mind to answer it?”
“Unsure.”
“I’m a patient man.” The way he says it sounds like a promise.
I glance his way without moving my head. It lets me catch only part of his expression. I think he also misses the disbelieving look I’mgiving him, so I make sure to emphasize it with a dry tone. “You’re really not.”
Hetskswith his tongue in disapproval, but there’s genuine amusement lurking beneath his words. “Distracting me with insults isn’t going to work this time.”
“So you admit it’s worked in the past?” I sit up a bit straighter, meeting his eyes properly, unable to help the tiny note of triumph that creeps into my words.
A simple smile is his response. We both know I haven’t answered his question:Why did you come?
“I—” I’m interrupted—no, saved, more like—by Rewina arriving again. She glides in balancing a silver tray laden with meat and root vegetables in a delicious-smelling wine reduction that perfumes the air with herbs. Placing it between us, she promptly departs, ever the vision of efficiency and discretion.
“You…?” Kaelis hardly looks at the food; his focus is still only onme.
I help myself to a serving of duck, ignoring him for a moment. The aroma has made me realize just how hungry I am. In all the chaos, I missed a meal today. It feels like I missed a lifetime of them. He patiently waits for me to eat.
“I found out the details of what happened to Arina.” I finally manage to get out the words after wiping my mouth.
The shift in him is immediate. He goes completely still. He saw firsthand the state Ravin had left her in. My hand balls into a fist, and I turn away from my food. Suddenly too disgusted to think of another bite.
