“What a mess,” Luke said.
He didn't know the half of it.
His brother's eyes looked so sad. What the Phaedra said must have cut to his core.
“He didn't mean it,” Zayne said. “He's just angry and scared.”
“Of course he meant it. I am a disappointment. And you never behave.” Luke met his eyes. “I don't want your pity, brother.”
Mom toyed with her necklace while sitting on the armchair in her bedroom. “How does this change things?”
Apart from Zayne's tree and the woods outside, this room was the only other place he felt comfortable talking in the capital. Father knew enough to protect Mom from surveillance here.
“It moves up the timeline,” Zayne said. “We need to do this now, not in a week.”
“We can't. We have no idea how to get her through the mountains.”
“I'll keep Luke from getting the information from Becka, but the Phaedra will be furious after another failure. He might hurt Kira. I'll give your elder whatever he wants. Anything.”
Mom clasped her necklace. “I will, but he really doesn't know a way through.”
“You can't trust what he says. He opened his doors to the United and turned innocent civilians into soldiers and spies. We'll press him.”
“I will, but I believe him. What he did with the United is wrong. He did it to help people, though. Sending the kids to the front lines changed everything.”
“Then his judgment isn't to be trusted.” That fast-track order had such far-reaching consequences. “Why did Dad agree to sending kids out to war?”
She moved to sit beside Zayne on the edge of the bed. “There's always a reason to capitulate. The Phaedra gave him a choice. The fast-track program or a fifty percent increase in sensitive targets.”
Schools. Hospitals. Apartment buildings. What would Zayne do in that position? If he took his father's place, he'd face the same problems. “He's not helpless. If he cared enough, he'd find another way.”
Mom nodded. “You're right. The man I married is gone. He disappeared one imperceptible piece at a time. One lesser evil and compromise at a time. One day he had vowed to do better than his father, and here we are thirty years later.”
That stung like an indictment against him. “You think I'll fail.”
“No.” She squeezed his shoulder. “I know you won't. You may get lost along the way, but you'll always make it home.”
Zayne wasn't sure anymore. The dilemmas and compromises would become worse as High General, not easier. “What if I can't get her out, Mom?” He'd banished that question from his mind for weeks. “She told me to choose the Followers over her. I can't.”
Mom slid her hand over his face and stroked his cheek with her thumb. “I'm not scared you won't get her out.” Her eyes glistened. “I'm scared you'll die doing it.”
As badly as he wanted to reassure her, he couldn't promise that.
Pain churned in her stare. “Go with her.”
His heart slowed. “What?”
“Leave all this behind,” Mom said. “Be free.”
Zayne drew back, and her hand fell. “And what? Throw rocks at the Phaedra?”
“Anything as long as you're not trapped here anymore.”
“I'd spend my life on the run, accomplishing nothing. What good am I then?” He couldn't sit here listening to this. Stalking to the other side of the room, he glanced back. “You just want me to be happy.”
“Yes,” Mom cried. “Be happy, baby.” A smile mixed in with the tears contorting her face. “Abandon your father's legacy of compromise and war.”
“What's come over you?” He wanted to punch his fist through the wall. The surge of emotion swept him away swiftly. “We've talked about this forever. I'll take Father's place and do what he should have done.”
