Page 112 of My Husband Problem

I groan and this time tell her out loud, “I think you’re going to kill me.” I pull her mouth to mine, kissing her deeply.

“I don’t want that,” she says. “I really want you to thrust into me, Declan.”

Jesus. I slide my hand to her hip and squeeze. “You’re amazing,” I tell her, my voice rough. “That you are even talking about this with me already.”

“Declan, I have been thinking about this, and wanting it, for almost two years.”

That makes my heart squeeze hard in my chest, and I nod my understanding. “This is going to be so good.We’regoing to be so good. But,” I say, making sure she’s meeting my gaze.

“But?”

“There is so much we can do, so many ways we can make each other feel good withoutthrusting.”

She smiles but I make sure she can see how serious I am.

“Pleasure is the goal,” I tell her. “Every time. Understand? We only do what feels good. It does not have to include penetration.”

She presses her lips together.

“Talk to me,” I encourage.

“I just…that feels like a failure,” she admits. “I know what you’re saying, and you’re right. There are a lot of ways to have fun. But full penetrative sex is what I’ve been working on, what I’m hoping for, and honestly, I know it might not happen rightaway but if it doesn’t, it will feel like I haven’t fully accomplished my goals.”

I swallow hard. Then nod. “I hear you. I understand. This is a big deal.”

“It is,” she agrees. “I want to be able to do everything with you. If I can’t, I will be disappointed.”

I want to argue. I want to assure her that it doesn’t matter to me. But how I feel isn’t the important thing here. She has to feel good about this too, and it’s her body, her rehab.

“Got it,” I tell her. “I understand.”

She gives me a sweet smile. “Thank you.” Then she wets her lips and pulls a dilator out of the bag. It’s long and thick. She holds it up. “This is the one I’m using now with no pain.”

I look from it to her and notice the sexy little smile she’s suddenly giving me.

“Astrid, are you wondering how I measure up next to that?”

She pulls her bottom lip between her teeth. Then nods.

Yes, we can definitely have a lot of fun no matter if we get to the thrusting or not. “Do you want to see yourself, Firework?”

Her eyes light up in excitement. Chuckling despite my very painful erection, I push myself off the bed and stand beside the mattress next to her.

I unbutton my pants, dropping them, giving her a chance to slowly get used to what’s happening.

I love and hate the idea that it’s been so long for her.

I love that she hasn’t been with anyone else, of course. But the idea that she’s been in pain, without pleasure, also pisses me off.

I toe off my shoes, strip off my socks, and kick my pants away. I unbutton my shirt, letting her study the obviously tented front of my boxer briefs.

She does so unabashedly. Her gaze runs slowly over my body as I open my shirt and shrug it off, tossing it to the floor as well.

“How about you get rid of some clothes too?” I ask, trying to keep my tone light and playful when really, I’m dying to see her body.

I can’t rush her here, and I don’t want to do anything to make this uncomfortable or awkward, but I am holding onto my control with both hands.

She sits up on the bed and immediately starts unbuttoning the shirt she’s wearing.