Page 51 of My Husband Problem

Stan is thrilled. Declan gave him double.

I roll my eyes. Declan is not supposed to beniceand make everyone happy. He’s supposed to not only be annoyed but alsobeannoying.

Then again, maybe he’s just trying to get on everyone’s good side. Build up Team Declan. Make it look good for his grandfather. Maybe he truly is annoyed and will tellmeall about it later.

I look up at Nora.

“BINGO is too nice.” Declan would probably like it and be charming about that too. “I’m going to need something completely different.”

Her smile falls, and she sighs.

Sutton laughs. “Nora doesn’t know how to do not-nice.”

“I know,” I agree. “Let’s think of it as Declan-irritating. And it’s only for a week. And we just need something a little more over-the-top than usual. It doesn’t have to bebad. Declan is just a very…put-together person. He likes things a certain way. He’s kind of a perfectionist.”

I try not to show in my expression how that bothers me.

I used to be that way. Being a gymnast meant following specific routines for everything from my diet to my training routines to my actual performances. I appreciate precision.

But I’m working hard to let go of the idea that the fact that my body will never be whole or perfect again does not mean that I’m a failure.

Still, it’s very hard to ignore the fact that I am not the wife Declan thinks he married.

Or the woman I want to be.

“Oh, I know!” Sutton says. “We could do a mass casualty drill. We haven’t done one of those in a long time.”

“A what?” I ask.

“We have a whole team of people who pretend to be victims of a mass casualty. A hurricane, a major power outage, aplane crash.” She emphasizes the last two words in a way that almost makes me laugh. She almost seemsexcitedabout the idea of a plane crashing in Rebel. “And then the community practices how we would respond. And not just the emergency personnel, though they’re involved, of course. Buteveryone. It’s great practice for people to go through so that if something happens, everybody knows what they should do.”

I nod slowly, an idea forming. “What about a murder mystery?”

Sutton’s and Nora’s eyes widen. “We did one of those a couple of years ago,” Nora said. “One of those dinners where someone ends up dead and then everyone has to figure out who did it.”

I nod. “But this one would involve the whole town. And no one knows that it’s fake except us. And, I suppose, the cop. Maybe that would freak Declan out.”

Sutton just stares at me. Then she looks at Nora.

Then they both burst out laughing.

“What?” I ask.

“We could never pull off a fake murder,” Nora says.

“Or a real one,” Sutton adds.

“The one we tried was a huge flop,” Nora says. “Everyone knows each other too well. And knows each other’s business too well. You literally can’t get away with murder in this town.”

“Or really, any crime,” Sutton adds.

“It’s true. Barry Wiser tried to embezzle from the insurance company when he worked there. They caught him within a week. And not because of the books, but because of how he was acting,” Nora says. “People knew him too well.”

“And remember when Sandra Ruskin stole her dead mother-in-law’s jewelry? Everyone in church noticed the very first time she wore it and told her sister-in-law at lunch that same day,” Sutton says.

They both look at me. “You can’t commit crimes here in Rebel,” Nora says with a shrug. “We figure it out.”

“And we make you more miserable than prison ever could, too,” Sutton adds. “So people really think twice about doing shady shit.”