“It’s yours,” I said using his first name, and no sooner than I did we both came together, and he pulled out of me abruptly and came over my butt.
I lay there in his bed, spent, tired, and winded, when he came back with a towel and cleaned me off. Then he lay down with me. We were tangled in each other, kissing as if this were our love story and he had really come home to me. The dick was better than I remembered, but I couldn’t get distracted by it. Psycho and I would never work. Not even if it weren’t for my career. He has such an extreme personality, and I don’t think I have the capacity for it at our age.
I slid to the edge of the bed and then went into the bathroom to get the dress that I had taken off. By the time I came out of the bathroom, I was fully dressed and pissed him off as soon as he looked in my direction.
“I suggest you stop playing with me like I’m one of your hoes.” He warned. I was normally ma or mama, so every time he called me by my first name, I knew he meant business.
“Psycho.” I tried to reason.
The crazy part about his threats is that I know he wouldn’t hurt me. He was always soft with me, and I was always the only person whom he would listen to. But what hewoulddo was act a complete ass, and I just didn’t have the bandwidth to deal with it at times. So, I always found myself taking the easier way out.
I took off my dress and then lay in bed with him. Psycho fucked me all night long. I don’t know if going over there was a smart move or a terrible mistake. By the time that we went to sleep, it was damn near five o’clock in the morning, and I feel like he wasn’t even trying to let me go then. I’ve had my pussy eaten in more positions than it has ever been, and I’ve beenballed up and stretched out. We’ve been on his bed, his couch, his balcony, and even in the tub when we bathed together.
I only got a couple of hours of sleep before I woke up and snuck out of his house. I’ve managed to shower and write this entry, and he hasn’t called yet. I know when he rolls over and realizes that I’m gone, there’s going to be smoke in the city. But we could cross that bridge when we got there.
After the hours of wreckage that my body went through last night, a little smoke might just be worth it.
Signed: Fucked, broken, and battered.
The Heaux
October 14, 2021
Ihaven’t written in a while, but today things were just too crazy for me not to write.
For nearly three weeks, life has had me by my edges. It’s the time of the year that things normally pick up for my career. Conferences, meetings, interviews, etc. So, work has really been doing a number on me. I feel like I haven’t had a moment to spare for my personal life in nearly a month.
Messages have both gone unanswered and unread, and it wasn’t even by choice. I’ve been going to work early and cominghome after dark, tired, mentally exhausted, and agitated. The only thing that I’ve made time for is a glass of wine, a bubble bath, and my bed.
So, I’ll try my best to recap these last three weeks. Starting with where I left off, after I spent the night at Psycho’s house. I called out of work and woke up at midday; my phone was nearly on fire. He had sent me so many voice messages; I didn’t know where to begin listening to them all. They ranged from emotional, saying he lets me play in his face all the time. Then they switched to understanding when he said he knew that my career wouldn’t allow us to be a couple anymore.
But then? He went, full-on mental patient. When his rant was over, he called me a “golden pussy, good head giving, heartless, sneaky, bullshit dog buying motherfucker” and told me I don’tever- emphasis on ever- have to worry about him fucking with me again because he’s not about to let me keep hurting his feelings.
Needless to say, the next day I had thirteen flower arrangements sent to the office. They were indeed from Psycho, and he said that there was one for every year we’ve known each other. Although he said I never had to worry about him, he still called me every now and then from different numbers, though he hadn’t popped up since that night at my mom’s.
I haven’t seen a man since that day, and it was probably for the better. I’ve turned down dates and invitations to events. Dash and Wood have been texting me a lot more and trying to schedule a date night, but when I’m under this intense pressure, I can’t focus on anything other than work.
As a result, my personal life has had to take a back seat. That was, until tonight. I had allowed everyone to go home early so I could have a peace of mind without so many people pulling me in different directions. I wanted to study the questions and the meeting minutes and prepare for my interview withoutdistractions. I sat at the desk watching videos, writing down my responses, and changing them as I saw fit.
I didn’t even realize that the day went by faster than I expected. Before I knew it, the light shining through my windows was nonexistent, and night fell quickly. I was so caught up that I hadn’t moved from my position, hadn’t taken a break, nor had I even eaten lunch.
Two taps came at the door.
“Boss Lady.” Big A called from the other side of the door.
I put the pen down and exhaled.
“Come in.” I scoffed.
Finally, being pulled from my task gave me the chance to look around at all the papers that I had been sifting through.
He stood at the door and did the same. His eyes roamed the office before he announced his reason for knocking.
“You think you should call it a night?” He asked.
I knew I should, but I didn’t want to. I always took this time in my career very seriously, and he knew it. I stressed about it constantly and only felt I could breathe once I was over it.
“It’s only seven, A. Give me another hour.” I reasoned before picking the pen back up.
