‘No, but—’
‘Exactly,’ she cut in. ‘Has he ever flirted with, or even looked at another woman while you guys have been together?’
‘Well, no—’
‘Right,’ Sade cut in again. ‘So is this really about him or is this about you seeing a good thing for once and self-sabotaging because you’re not used to being around good men?’
She had me there, my irritating-yet-always-right-best friend.
‘I … maybe it’s about me, I don’t know. I panicked, OK?’ I stared down at my hands, feeling sorry for myself.
‘Oh, I know you did,’ Sade replied, shoving the chip into her mouth and munching loudly. ‘I’m a bit hurt that you think I’m some kind of a threat to you and him, if I’m being honest. I’ve always wanted nothing but the best for you, and I wouldnever want you to think I would ever cross the line in that way. You’re my sister, man.’
We stared at each other in silence, and in that moment I was grateful that I’d brought it up before it had the opportunity to turn into resentment.
‘I’m sorry sis,’ I replied, going in for a hug. ‘I’m definitely overthinking. I shouldn’t have brought you into this. Maybe I do need to do a bit more self-reflection.’
‘I know you fucking do. Apology accepted. Now hurry up and get ready so you can get your man back, for fuck’s sake.’
I threw a chip at her. I hated how she always ended up being right.
At 7.30 p.m., I began lighting the scented candles in my bedroom and living room. Toby had annoyingly shat up a storm during my absence, and despite me changing his cat litter, I could still faintly smell the shitty odour, forcing me to have to light my never-before-used Diptyque 34 Candle – a scent I’d only ever wanted to use for special occasions. I’d also decided to actually cook this time around, settling on steak, mashed potatoes and vegetables, which I knew was one of his favourite dishes.
With fifteen minutes to spare, I slipped into a simple but cute white dress. It was form-fitting, understated – almost virginal, if we’re being dramatic. I kept my hair and make-up minimal, too. After all the time we’d spent together, I didn’t feel the need to go all out. He’d always made me feel cute, even in an oversized T-shirt with zero make-up on.
At 8 p.m. on the dot, my buzzer rang and something in me shifted. I hadn’t been this nervous to see him since our very first phone call, and wasn’t sure why I suddenly had a case of the butterflies. He’d been pretty quiet on his socials since our last conversation, so I hadn’t really been able to gauge his mood up until now. I guessed I was about to find out.
‘Hey you,’ he muttered, a slow grin spilling across his face lazily as I opened the door to greet him. Since we’d last seen each other, he’d grown out a bit of facial fur, which really suited him actually. He was dressed rather formally; wearing a pair of grey suit trousers paired with a crisp white shirt and matching grey blazer.
‘Your office has you working on a Saturday?’ I said, as he walked through the hallway, caught sight of Toby and gently picked him up to pet him. By now, Toby had become used to Theo coming to the flat, and had become quite taken with him, much to my relief.
‘Nope,’ he replied, putting Toby down and making his way to the sofa. ‘Just thought I’d be professional, you know. You are, after all, a client of mine. I thought it would be good to be formal.’
He must have been taking the piss. Surely.
‘Um … OK? Would you like a drink? I’ve got wine, Sprite, tea … coffee …’ I responded, confused. I’m pretty sure he was doing this to spite me. Touché.
‘I’ll have a glass of wine, thanks.’
We made ourselves comfortable on the sofa after I served him his drink. The air was thick with tension; not necessarily bad, just awkward. I decided that it would be best to just confront the elephant in the room.
‘Theo … I missed you,’ I started, turning to face him. He was already facing me at this point, his eyes turned downwards as he listened quietly. ‘This whole “formal client” thing you’re doing? I get it; you’re trying to make a point. And look, I understand that I was the one who brought up the whole thing about you breaking your boundaries in the first place, but things changed, I guess. And you were so adamant about keeping your work and personal life separate, that I just wanted to respect that too, you know?’
‘I missed you too,’ he began. As he turned to face me, he held my hands in his –trèsromantic.
‘Look, I know. I was really clear about my boundaries at the beginning, especially when it came to clients. But something changed that night in the Uber. I don’t even know exactly when it happened … I just know you’re different. You’re not like anyone I’ve met in a really long time, and it caught me off-guard. It’s not just the sex – though that’s honestly incredible – it’s the way I can’t seem to stop thinking about you when we’re apart. I love how quick you are, how you never let anything rattle you. You’re beautiful, but it’s more than that. It’s the way you carry yourself, how sure you are. Most women either put me on a pedestal or keep me at a distance, and it gets … lonely, sometimes. But you? You meet me eye to eye. You challenge me. You make me feel seen. I guess … I just wanted to hold onto that a little longer.’
I stared at him, open-mouthed, completely blindsided. No one had ever seen me like that before, let alone said it out loud. For a second, something inside me – something I thought had long since gone numb – began to thaw. All I wanted in that moment was to fall into him, to kiss him, to lose myself and not think about anything else. But I couldn’t shake it; the sharp, unwelcome voice in the back of my mind, hissing,‘What would your friends say? What would your family think?’It clashed painfully with the part of me that just wanted to be selfish, to reach for something that felt real. And for the first time in a long time, I didn’t know which side of me was going to win.
It was as if Theo could read my mind. Without a word, he set his wine glass down on the table, his eyes never leaving mine. In the next breath, he closed the distance between us and swept me into his arms, his mouth finding mine in a kiss that was all heat.
I melted against him instantly, my hands gripping the fabric of his shirt as if grounding myself, almost as if to make sure hewas really there. His kiss deepened, desperate; tasting of wine and something sweeter I couldn’t put my finger on.
He pulled back just enough to look at me, his forehead pressed to mine, his breath ragged. For a long moment, we just stayed there, suspended between sense and surrender. His hands slid up my back, slowly, as if memorising the shape of me.
When he kissed me again, it was slower and more deliberate. His fingers threaded through my braids, tipping my head back so he could trail kisses along my jaw, down my neck, leaving a blazing path in their wake.
I could hear Toby meowing in the background, probably pissed off that I wasn’t giving him any attention just then. Cuddles would just have to wait, my friend.
