‘Jeff?’ I breathed, barely audible, my feet cemented to the floor.
Jeff’s face was a mess of panic and recognition. His eyes ricocheted between me and the woman I now realised wasVeronica– his wife. The same Veronica I’d found on Facebook.
‘Cassandra … hi. What are you doing here?’ His voice cracked as he tugged a handkerchief from his pocket, blotting his forehead with trembling hands. He sank down beside Veronica, who watched us both with a taut, unreadable expression, her lips pressed into a razor-thin line.
I prayed desperately that she wouldn’t make a scene. Not here. Not today.
‘This is my mum’s wedding,’ I said shortly, wanting more than anything to go back and sit next to Theo. I glanced behind me and saw Kofi staring at us, his mouth forming a perfect ‘O’ before mouthing to me ‘what the fuck??’ I rolled my eyes quickly and returned to the awkward scene in front of me. Veronica had recognised me from my LinkedIn photo, meaning that she’d probably seen the messages exchanged between Jeff and I, hence her current demeanour towards me.Shit.
Jeff started to crack his knuckles, looking perplexed. ‘Oh wow, I wasn’t aware! It’s a … a small world, isn’t it?’ He laughed nervously. Veronica stared at him grimly, before cutting her teeth at him loudly and turning to me again. ‘I’m sure we can talk at the reception,’ she murmured, her gaze sliding over my shoulder to Theo with a pensive sort of curiosity. The entire encounter was bizarre, but I forced myself to shelve it until after the ceremony. Weddings always save their juiciest plot twists for the reception anyway … right?
‘Right,’ I replied shakily. ‘Well, bye.’ And I strolled over briefly towards Kofi and Sade, with Kofi beckoning me to sit down so he could get the tea.
‘What the hell is Jeff doing here? Please don’t tell me you actually invited him? Why is his wife staring at you like that?’ Kofi whispered excitedly. I looked behind me briefly and saw Jeff and Veronica quietly exchanging heated words.
‘What? No! Apparently his wife works with Femi; that’s how she was invited. Also, I can’t get into it now, and I didn’t wanna tell you guys at the time, but there was a time when Jeff tried to make a move on me and I rebuffed him – but we’ll talk about all that after the wedding yeah?’
Kofi and Sade’s mouths opened and closed in quick succession like goldfish. I peeked up ahead at Theo, who was still happily chatting to some of my family members, oblivious to the drama that was happening behind him.
‘SIS, you are TRIFLING. Why didn’t you tell me?!’ Sade said, struggling to maintain her composure. Kofi’s face was a picture. He looked over at Jeff, shaking his head.
‘It wasn’t a big deal, honestly. He didn’t hurt me or anything, it was just a miscommunication, but look – the wedding’s about to start – I promise you I’ll explain everything afterwards yeah?’
Moments later, Bianca and I took our places outside the inner entrance, with Mum behind us, waiting patiently for the wedding march music to begin. The doors opened, and Bianca and I slowly made our way down the aisle in unison. As I walked down, I noticed Jeff trying his hardest not to look at me, while Veronica glared straight ahead, refusing any eye contact whatsoever. This would be hilarious if it wasn’t so awkward. I continued looking straight ahead, and eventually caught Theo’s eye. Theo was gazing at me as if he wanted to devour me there and then. I slipped him a cheeky wink and added an extra sway to my hips as I glided down the aisle.
Bianca and I reached the end of the aisle and stepped to the side. I kept my eye on Veronica, who had now focused on Theo as my mum floated down the aisle, her mouth beamingas everyone took their phones out to film her. Mum reached the altar, and I went to sit back next to Theo in an attempt to enjoy the rest of the ceremony. I couldn’t shake the uneasy feeling that had developed in the pit of my stomach. During the vows, I whispered softly to Theo:
‘Hey, so, there’s a woman with blonde dreads behind you on the groom’s side who keeps looking at you; do you know her?’
Theo subtly looked over to the right quickly before responding. ‘Nope. Never seen her before. Maybe she’s just taken by my beauty. Don’t worry, it happens sometimes.’
I forced down a chuckle as I watched on, my mum and Femi looking beautiful as they stared into each other’s eyes. It was all so romantic and perfect. I had hoped that my run-in with Jeff and Veronica would be the only awkward thing that would happen today.
Guess who was wrong, again?
As the ceremony continued, I could faintly hear the main doors opening and closing, alongside muted – yet intense – conversation.
God, please.
I tried to ignore it, but the conversation only became louder, with other members of the congregation turning around to see who was making the noise. I recognised the voice immediately.
Not this. I really hoped it wasn’t this.
The voices at the back of the church were getting louder.
‘If anyone here objects to the marriage,’ continued the pastor, speaking drearily, oblivious to the growing ruckus outside the chapel doors, ‘speak now, or forever hold your—’
Fuck!
‘REGINA! Leave me alone! Get off me! REGINA PLEASE. Don’t do this. Ow! Get off me!’
And of course – like the final act of a badly written romcom – there he was. My dad, bursting through the church doorslike a man possessed, gasping for breath as two frantic ushers clung to him like toddlers on a runaway shopping trolley. He looked completely unhinged: unshaven, dark circles the size of dinner plates, hair doing its own thing entirely.
‘REGINA, PLEASE!’ he bellowed, arms flailing like a soap opera extra. ‘I STILL LOVE YOU, WOMAN! DON’T DO THIS!’
It was pure chaos. Honestly, all he needed was a boombox and a trench coat to complete the cliché.
I looked at my mum and Femi, who were both looking at my dad in horror. The congregation turned from them to my dad, still being restrained by the two ushers. Theo glanced at my dad, with a slight smile on his face, as if impressed by his audacity. A real lover boy, this one. I, however, wanted the ground to swallow me up.
