‘WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS, DANIEL?’ screamed Femi in a voice I had never heard before. I’d never seen him truly angry before; it was terrifying. I stood up instinctively, wanting to protect Mum, who at this point was standing with her mouth open in shock, looking royally pissed off.
‘Regina, please – just hear me out. Please, I still love you!’ Dad roared, still trying to make his way down the aisle while being pulled back by the two men. By this point, all eyes and phone cameras were on Dad, and at this point, I couldn’t have been more embarrassed if I tried. I clocked Jeff and Veronica staring up at the altar in shock. At one point, Jeff glanced over at me, and quickly turned his head away. I was mortified; never mind what happened between Jeff and me personally, on a professional level, this was humiliating. Steven was busy with baby Aaron, so it was up to me.
‘Dad – NOT HERE!’ I shouted as I ran up the aisle towards him. I grabbed him by the hem of his shirt and walked him back towards the corridor, leaving the two ushers to close thedoors behind us. If the whole ordeal wasn’t so mortifying, I would have found this hilarious.
‘Cassie – I’m … I’m sorry, I just …’ Dad started, trying to catch his breath as I walked him outside the church. He stank of tequila: clearly a motivating factor for this outburst. ‘I just love her. I couldn’t stand by and let her marry him, I just couldn’t!’
‘So you decide to burst into the chapel like Grandpa Simpson in an attempt to crash the wedding in the hopes that, what? She’d just randomly comply?’ I chastised, also trying to catch my breath. ‘Do you know you’ve just ruined what was supposed to be the happiest day of her life? If you loved her, you wouldn’t have done that!’
‘Grandpa who? I don’t get the reference, I … I’m sorry.’ Dad breathed, now looking forlorn.
‘Ugh, don’t worry about it, it’s a cartoon thing. Anyway, what on earth did you think would happen from you making a scene like that? You’ve just embarrassed her in front of the family – do you think she’s ever going to want to talk to you or forgive you now? You have to let go, once and for all. You HAVE to move on.’
Dad was now sitting on the steps of the church, silent tears spilling down his face. For once, I actually felt a little sorry for the guy. For all his fuck-ups as a dad and a husband, he seemed to truly love my mum and was genuinely struggling to move on.
‘I can’t move on, my dear.’ He sighed heavily, confirming my theory. ‘Your mum was my first love. The only woman I’ve loved. You don’t just let that go.’
I sat beside him, seething that I was missing the ceremony – but, if I was being honest, a little grateful too. At least the chaos meant all eyes were on the dramatic mess at the altar, not on me and Theo.
‘Dad,’ I said, trying to keep my voice calm, ‘I get that this is hard. I can’t imagine what you’re feeling right now – but if you really love her, then you have to let her go. You should want her to be happy … even if that happiness involves someone who isn’t, well,you.’
I gave him a look.
‘Let’s be real – you weren’t exactly Husband of the Year. Or Father of the Year, for that matter. And at some point, you’ve got to own that. What matters now is who you decide to be from here on out.’ I gestured towards the chaos he’d just created. ‘And crashing a wedding? Not exactly the redemption arc you want to start with. You’re going to find someone again – I’m sure of it. But first, maybe let’s focus on healing … and staying out of church buildings unless invited, yeah?’
While I was busy tearing into him, my mind flicked back to all the other times I’d been forced to step in – for him, and for Mum. I’d always had to play the peacekeeper, the moderator, the one who held everything together. Being the emotional breadwinner had been exhausting, and I was tired of being in the middle of everything.
‘Dad … please don’t take this the wrong way, and I know I briefly brought this up when Aaron was born, but I can’t keep doing this with you and Mum any more. It’s not fair on me. Because of this, I’m missing the wedding – and that breaks my heart more than you probably realise. My whole life I’ve been the one caught in the middle, the one you both turn to when you want to let it all out about each other. Do you know how lonely that feels? How heavy it’s been to carry all of that? And then when it comes to my own life, the choices I’ve made, it still feels like nothing I do is ever quite enough for either of you. I’ve tried so hard, Dad … but I’m so tired of this; I just want a dad who cares about me too.’
Dad looked up to stare at me; his eyes glazed with tears. I waited for him to interject, but when nothing came, I continued.
‘I know that being the oldest comes with responsibilities, I absolutely do, but I’m your child. Not your caretaker, or your therapist, or a trophy you get to show off whenever you want to score points against other members of the family. I’m your daughter, and I just wished that growing up, you could have treated me like one. I needed looking after too. The same way I’ve been trying to look after you, despite it not being reciprocated. I needed your love and approval also.’
Dad looked at me, his eyes red with tears. I stared at him back, time standing still as, for the first time in what seemed like a long time, a true bonding moment was had between us.
‘You’re right. This has … been hard to hear. When did you get so wise? I’m sorry. I truly am. For all of it. I’ve made a fool of myself; this is so unlike me. Please tell your mother I’m sorry also.’
‘No, Dad,’ I said sternly, asserting my temporary dominance in this moment – who knew if I’d ever get the opportunity again? ‘When you’ve cleaned yourself up and had some time to think,youneed to tell her you’re sorry. It can’t come from me any more.’
Dad continued to stare at me, his eyes forming into a squint. He wasn’t used to hearing me stand up for myself in this manner. Well, there was more where that came from!
I continued: ‘I’m assuming it’s the tequila on your breath that made you do this, and I can understand that today was always going to be a hard one for you. I’m going to call you an Uber and have it drop you at Uncle Tony’s house, OK? Spend some time with your brother and the cousins today. I’ll call you this evening and check on you.’
I turned to see Theo standing a few yards away, watching me with a soft, sad smile. I looked back at Dad, who was quietlyfumbling with his shirt buttons, and my heart ached at the sight of him – dishevelled, defeated, and entirely human. I called the Uber, and when it pulled up, I gently guided him to the car.
‘I love you, Dad,’ I said, giving his hand a squeeze. ‘Remember what I said, OK? I’ll call you later, and we can have a proper chat then.’
I wrapped him in a firm hug, held on for a beat longer than usual, then watched as the car pulled away, taking him – and the drama – with it.
I turned back towards Theo, whose arms were outreached towards me.
‘Jesus, I’m so sorry, Cass,’ he said as he swept me into his embrace, his hug warm and comforting. ‘That must have been tough, but you handled it so well.’
‘Fuuuuuuuuck me,’ I cried out, exhaling and half-laughing. ‘That was fucking wild. But hey, welcome to my chaotic, weird-ass family!’
At the reception, Theo and I had been placed on the head table, just a few seats away from the newlyweds, who were currently on their second bottle of champagne, understandably. I was on my second glass of red wine, trying to erase the details of earlier in the chapel. To my utter surprise, although Femi was furious, my mum had apparently seen the funny side – which I shouldn’t have been surprised about in retrospect – Mum always had a habit of using humour to tackle difficult or awkward situations.
‘Cassie? If that man thinks he’s ever going to see me again, he’s got another think coming,’ Mum slurred, champagne glass in one hand, slice of wedding cake in the other. ‘An absolute disgrace. I’m going to call his mother and disgrace him. What a farce.’
