“Do you love him?” he asked, voice soft and caring as he reached for my hand.
I pulled away. “I—I don’t know.”
“Is he good to you?”
“Graham—I?—”
He reached for my hand again, and this time I didn’t pull away. His thumb moved once across my knuckles. My god. His touch sent fire through my veins, igniting everything I’d been failing to hold back.
“Answer the question, Max.”
“Yes! Okay? Yes! He’s good to me.”
“So, you love him… and you’re happy?”
“I—I don’t know! Maybe…?”
“All I want is for you to be happy.” He wasn’t looking at me when he said it. Eyes on the yard, jaw tight. “And if you can have that with Hunter, I want you to?—”
“Goddamn it! He’s not you!” My vision clouded. Tears pooled behindmy lashes. “You don’t get it! I can’t just dump him because you showed up.”
“I’m not saying you should. I just wanted you to know how I felt and where I stood.”
My chest tightened. “But I don’t. Not really. You haven’t said a goddamn thing.”
“Isn’t me showing up enough?”
“Really?” I let out a breath and crossed my arms again. “You think you can just walk back in here, and I’m just supposed to fall back into your arms like you didn’t rip out my heart and stomp on it?”
“No. God, Max… that’s not what I meant.”
“Then what did you mean?”
“Max, I haven’t stopped thinking about you since the day I met you. You’re in every thought I have, every time I close my eyes. Fuck, I can’t even go two seconds without finding some of your goddamned hair woven into my underwear or stuck in my ass crack. I don’t even know how you managed that.” He tucked my hair behind my ear and held my face in his hands. “I love you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. But I can’t promise I’m not going to fuck it up. I can’t promise I’m not going to get scared and run away again, or that I’m not going to have another stupid PTSD attack and hurt you. That’s just what I do… It’s who I am. It’s what I’ve done for the past decade. That’s why I can’t see how I’m good for you. If you can have a happy life with someone who loves you without the risk of an asshole like me making you question yourself… I want you to take it.”
He didn’t let go of my face. Just waited.
Hearing him say all the things I’d wanted him to was supposed to make everything better.
It didn’t.
I had areallybig problem that kept me from leaping into his arms. My stomach flipped. I had to tell him about Hunter. I knew exactly where Graham stood when it came to my magically induced hook-ups. And frankly, that was exactly where any good person should stand.
Heat pricked my ears, and I had to look to the doorway to keep from telling him.
Because if I told him, he’d be furious. He’d probably take offbefore I had a chance to explain. But… keeping it from him felt like a lie. And that was one thing I couldn’t do to him.
I fidgeted with my moon necklace, attempting to build up the courage to say it.
Christ, out-with-it Maggie.
“Graham, I—” I clamped my mouth shut.
“What is it?”
What if he never trusted me again?
He took my hands again. They were so small in his. So vulnerable. Safe. Something I didn’t feel with Hunter. Not really, anyway.
