He'd dealt with enough pain recently; he didn't need more rejection. "I have no need to be unmanned again so soon."
"Give her a chance to explain herself." Neacal looked far too hopeful. What did he know that he wasn't sharing?
"Clearly you know her mind better than I do," Colin muttered.
Neacal shrugged. "I asked her a few questions before I allowed her to come along, but I'll not tell you what she said. That's her place."
Anticipation tried to break free, but he tamped it down and buried it beneath surliness. "Let me guess—since her sight has returned, she's changed her mind about marrying me."
Studying him, Neacal quirked a brow. "You say that as if 'tis an awful thing."
"Nay. I'm glad she has her sight back, but her blindness was never a problem for me. The problem is the way she changes her mind. What if we become betrothed, and suddenly she loses her sight again? She could easily break the betrothal. If we were to marry, and she loses her sight again, she might very well leave me and return to Bearach to live with Anna… to spare me theburden, as she calls it."
Neacal looked troubled as he glanced away, for he knew it could happen.
"As I said, I don't need the distraction. I'm going out tomorrow all day, hunting for Red Holme. I will not rest until he's dead."
"I'm going with you."
A knock sounded at the door.
"Enter," Colin called.
One of the manservants opened the door and stuck his head in. "Her ladyship sent me. 'Tis time for supper, m'laird."
"We'll be right out."
The servant bowed and closed the door.
"I hope you will at least talk to Kristina," Neacal said.
Colin gave a brief nod. He was certain he would have to talk to her at some point, but he was not ready as of yet. He felt torn, and the intensity of his emotions angered him. He wanted to feel naught but numbness. He did not need this now. He needed to focus on bringing his father's murderer to justice.
As they left the library, Colin's stomach knotted. He was not looking forward to facing Kristina again so soon, and in a crowded social gathering where he would have to pretend all was well… unless she decided to take the meal in her guest chamber. Upon entering the great hall, he saw this was not the case. She was already seated at the high table beside Anna, three seats down from the laird's chair. He was both disappointed and relieved.
Her eyes met his as he approached, then she glanced away. Saints, he could not grow used to the fact that she could see him. Excitement quickened his heart rate.
After one of the elders said grace, the meal was served, but despite his stomach growling, he had little appetite. Nor could he stop himself from glancing down the table or over Anna's head to see if he could catch a glimpse of Kristina.
He, Neacal, Bryce and Cyrus discussed strategies for capturing the elusive Holme. When he found his attention straying, wondering what Kristina would say to him, he wanted to kick himself. He looked forward to talking to her, but at the same time he dreaded it.
***
Red Holme and Scroggie pushed their way into the crowded great hall of Rhodie Castle, among the arriving MacDonald and MacKenzie clansmen. He doubted any of them would recognize him. He'd made an early retreat from the battle they'd fought in at Bearach. Besides that, before he'd taken on the chimney sweep disguise, he'd shaved his red hair and bushy beard. Soot now covered most of his face, and a cowl covered his head.
He'd tried to keep out of sight when Colin and his closest guards had arrived back, but some of the male servants had been in a tizzy about the beautiful ladies arriving. He'd tried to see if Lady Kristina was among them, but the bailey had been so crowded he couldn't see who they were. But now he intended to find out.
The great hall was packed with several long tables to accommodate the many visitors and clansmen.
When the lady of the castle entered the great hall, all the men and servants stood. The next lady to enter was Anna, then Kristina.
Holme's breath halted as he watched her follow her sister toward the high table, unable to believe his good fortune. His heart raced with excitement and lust. He was glad she wasn't dead. Now, he would have another chance with her.
But something was different about her. No one was leading her. How was this possible? Could she see?
"Well, I'll be hanged," Scroggie whispered. "If 'tis nay the blind wench."
"Shh."
