***
'Twas after midnight and Colin sat alone by his father's bedside, listening to the older man's labored breaths. Bryce and his mother had been beside him for hours earlier in the night, after the healer had said his father's fever was worse and his breathing weaker. His ma was even more sleep-deprived than Colin, and she was not as strong as she used to be.
Bryce had tried to convince Colin that he would stay up while Colin slept. Colin had refused and assured them if anything changed, he would wake them. He wanted another chance to pray for his father's recovery. Without doubt, Colin had prayed more in the past week, since arriving back home, than in his entire life.
How could he be struck with two punches of devastating news in such a short span of time? First a rejection from the woman he loved, then news that his father was critically injured. The two people he was not certain he could live without.
His father was the man he trusted, admired and depended on most in the world. Colin had always sought out his wisdom when making important decisions. But now he couldn't. He'd so wanted to tell him about Kristina.
He observed his father's sleeping face, then leaned forward, wondering if his father might hear his words despite seeming far away.
"Da, I met a beautiful lass. Her name is Lady Kristina MacQueen. I want to bring her to meet you. I want… to marry her, but she doesn't think she's capable of being a chief's wife. She has the most caring heart and… she is strong. In fact, she's the strongest woman I've ever met. She has survived terrible treatment by her clan. Because of her severe injuries, she lost her sight, but that matters not to me in the least. Her spirit shines like a beacon in the night. I know she is the only woman for me. I asked her to marry me, but she has refused. I so wanted to discuss this with you and ask you if you would approve of her as a bride for me. She has no dowry and can bring no alliances to our clan. You must recover so you can give me your advice."
"Colin," his father whispered.
Shocked, Colin wondered if he was imagining things. He moved closer and took his father's hand. "Da? I'm here. Are you awake?"
The older man's eyes remained closed. "Love," he breathed, forcing the word out.
Though they had always been close, his father had never told him he loved him. Colin's throat felt near choked off, but he forced in a breath. "I love you, too, Da. Please stay with us. I need you now more than ever."
"Strong chief, son." His da squeezed his hand.
Nay!His father could not be saying what he thought he was. Colin swallowed past the large lump in his throat as his father's fingers went lax.
Holding on tightly to his da's hand, refusing to let him go, Colin said another prayer.
"I blame myself, Da, and I'm sorry," Colin whispered. "I'm sorry I didn't send a messenger to tell you Red Holme, the son of the last MacKillican chief, was out for revenge. I had no inkling he would come after you." Colin knew he should've left Bearach the instant he'd gotten Kristina back safely. He should've been here to protect his father.
For hours, Colin sat close to the bed, holding his father's relaxed hand, listening to his breathing. Thoughts and images entered his head—the good times he had spent with his father. In his earliest memories, his father had been a strong and noble man, so robust, tall and commanding. He took his responsibilities seriously, but at times, when no one was looking, his father was playful. He seemed to delight in his sons. He would whisper funny things to Colin and Bryce during supper at the high table, making them laugh and earning them scowls from Ma. Da had taught them how to ride horses and fight with a sword and targe.
Colin must have drifted off to sleep with these pleasant, soothing memories. The sounds of a female yelling shocked him awake. He bolted from the chair.
"M'laird!" Deidra stood on the other side of his father's bed, shaking him. "Och! Nay!" she wailed.
"Is he gone?" Colin felt as if he were choking, breath refusing to enter his lungs. Not seeing his father's chest rise and fall, he touched his face. "He is still warm."
"Aye, but he does not breathe," Deidra sobbed. "Your poor ma will be devastated."
"He must have only just passed, minutes ago." Damnation, why hadn't Colin been awake? Ma and Bryce should've been here. He'd promised them he would wake them.
Colin felt as if his soul were being ripped to shreds. How could he go on without his father?
