Kristina's eyes filled with tears, and guilt near suffocated her. "You're right. I'm sorry for being so vain."
Anna clasped her in a tight embrace and wept upon her shoulder. "I'm the one who is sorry. I should not have said that. We have each suffered in our own terrible way, but now things are improving. I simply want you to find happiness as I have. Once Colin returns, you can surprise him with your restored vision."
Maili sat on her other side in the window seat. "Although the sight of the scar is new to you, Colin is used to seeing it. You would not seem the same to him without it."
"Aye. I just have to grow used to the fact he has only seen me like this." Kristina stared into the mirror again. He must indeed care for her if this hideous scar did not repulse him. "But what if he doesn't return? What if he never wishes to see me again?"
***
'Twas late, and Colin sat alone in the solar of Rhodie Castle, staring into the hearth flames. His world had shattered around him. His beloved father was gone. Rain poured down outside, matching his mood.
Guilt ravaged Colin, cutting into his soul. He should've been here to prevent this tragedy, to protect his father. If only he'd come home right away after seeing Kristina to safety at Bearach.
His father should've had more guards surrounding him anytime he'd been outside the walls. If only Colin had been wiser and not so caught up in the doomed romance with Kristina. He'd wasted time there with her, fantasizing they could have a future together. Valuable time he should've used to help save his father's life.
Now he was chief of his clan, something he'd always regarded with dread… not because he didn't want to lead his people, but because it would mean his father had passed on, never to return. So many things had been left unsaid. At least he had told his father about Kristina.
Love.That was the word his father had said immediately after.
Colin frowned. Had he misinterpreted why his father had said the word? Of course, he knew his father loved him, but maybe his message was even bigger than that. Mayhap he'd meant if Colin loved Kristina, then that was all that mattered. Or maybe, being half in this world and half in the next, his father had meant that love was the most important thing of all in life. Not prestige or power or possessions. Not alliances or dowries. Love, friendship, family.
Still, one of the people he'd been closest to in the world was gone, and nothing he did now could bring him back. No amount of regret would allow him to go into the past and protect his father, even though 'twas what he wished more than anything.
He would like to talk to Neacal about this, for he'd lost his father a little over two years ago. He would understand what Colin was going through. Colin had sent a messenger to deliver a missive to Neacal only hours after his father had passed, but 'twas doubtful he would arrive in time for the funeral tomorrow.
And Kristina… damnation, every time he thought of her, a new gash opened up in his soul. To have two such painful open wounds at the same time. Why had this happened to him? Was God testing him to see his mettle?
He did not know if he could endure it.
Tomorrow, after the funeral, he would continue the search for Red Holme, but for tonight he would forget. At a nearby table, he poured himself a large dram of whisky and downed it in one swallow. It burned like hellfire all the way down his gullet. Returning to the hearth, he slumped onto the settle.
Not one given to excessive drinking, he felt the burn of the whisky in his veins and then the lightheadedness. He had forgotten to eat supper, he realized. His stomach was empty, and so were his heart and soul. He was naught but a hollow shell. Trying to calm the spinning of his head, he slid down and turned to lie on his back. Finally, numbness settled over his body and mind.
***
The door opened, and Neacal stepped inside the solar at Bearach. Although Kristina could not see perfectly as of yet, and her brother-in-law stood in a distant and dimmer part of the room, she did notice that he was tall and lean, with broad shoulders and long dark hair.
"There you are,a shùgh mo chrìdhe," Neacal said to Anna. "And Lady Kristina." He bowed.
What a gentleman he was to bow to her, even though he thought she couldn't see him. They would have to tell him about her vision soon or he would feel slighted, she was certain.
"Why were you looking for me?" Anna arose to greet him.
Taking her hands, he kissed her cheek, then drew back. "Colin sent a messenger with bad news. His father passed from the injury."
Kristina felt as if she'd been knocked flat. "Och, nay. Colin must be devastated." Her throat tightened, and tears burned her eyes. How she wished she could be there with him now to support and comfort him.
"Did you find out what happened? Who ambushed him?" Anna asked.
Neacal hesitated. "The messenger said… 'twas Red Holme."
"What?" Anna exclaimed.
Speechless, Kristina gasped. The shock of hearing the name caused her physical pain. She felt somehow responsible. Had Holme attacked Colin's father out of anger because Colin had rescued her?
"As you both know, the Camerons and Red Holme's birth clan, the MacKillicans, have a long history of conflict. It had naught to do with either of you."
Kristina blotted her eyes with her sleeve. "I still feel 'tis my fault."
