Chapter 6
Felix sent his grown sons and kinsmen out to secretly watch the Lindsays to see where they'd gone and report back. For hours, Alec and his men searched from one end of town to the other and back again. Mairiana and Darack could not venture outside, lest they be seen. Felix's son had told them that, at dark, Alec and his men had retired for the night at an inn some distance away.
At the tavern, Mairiana and Darack lay on separate pallets a few feet apart on the kitchen floor near the hearth, the low flames the only light in the room. Felix and his wife had offered to give up their bed for her, but she'd refused. She would much rather stay near Darack at all times, in the event they had to flee at a moment's notice.
Too restless to sleep, she lay watching Darack. His eyes were closed, his face shadowed by his dark hair. Was he asleep? She wished she knew him better, but at least she knew him well enough to trust him… she thought. When she remembered how long and completely she'd trusted Alec, she felt sick to her stomach.
Her heart still ached because of his lies and false front. Questions ran through her mind constantly. Had she truly loved Alec? What was love, anyway? He had told her countless times that he loved her, but he'd obviously lied from the outset. She no longer knew what was true and what was false. Never in her life had she doubted herself so much.
She would never marry… never have a family of her own. Never know what true love was. Tears burned her eyes. She had always believed herself fortunate, for the most part. 'Twas true she had lost her parents too young, which had been devastating to her because she'd been so young, too. But her brothers had filled the gap, and—she now knew—mollycoddled her. No doubt her father had ordered them to. Although, she was sure they loved her.
Still, she didn't want to live at Rornoch Castle the whole of her life with Dugald and his family andTòmasand his family, once they eventually married… unlessTòmasmoved out. She shook her head. What did it matter? She closed her eyes and tears dripped onto her makeshift pillow. If she could have a warm bed and food to eat, what did it matter about the rest of it? She would have the basic necessities, even if she had no other reason to live. No purpose. Mayhap she could find happiness in helping care for her brothers' children.
"What's wrong?" The deep, dark murmur seemed a part of the night surrounding her.
Wiping the salty tears from her eyes, she opened them to see Darack observing her. Though he was blurry, his eyes glinted in the firelight. "Naught," she said.
"'Twill do you no good to pretend you're not crying."
"You wouldn't understand."
He grunted. "So, I'm daft, then?"
Annoyance flashed through her. "Why must you take offense at everything I say?" she snapped.
He remained silent and turned on his back to stare at the ceiling.
"'Tis because you're a man," she said. "That's why you wouldn't understand."
He turned his head toward her.
"I have no future," she said, her throat tightening.
He frowned. "What do you mean?"
"I'll not be getting married. No one will have me."
"Why wouldn't they? Surely you can find a far more worthy man than Alec Lindsay."
She shook her head. "Dugald will never allow me to choose again. He'll make me marry whomever he chooses. And if I refuse, I'll be stuck there with him and his future wife and their passel of children. I'll be the maiden aunt who makes herself useful by changing nappies."
"Good God," Darack muttered. "I never took you for a lass who would ever feel sorry for herself."
"Blackguard," she muttered, fury driving her to her feet. She strode from the kitchen, through the door and into the common room. Anywhere to get away from him. She wanted to scream and cry and throw things. Men could understand nothing. Why did she even bother talking to Darack?
"Where the devil do you think you're going?" Darack grumbled low and clamped a hand onto her shoulder, stopping her.
"Leave me be." She jerked away from his grasp.
He lifted her and carried her back into the kitchen, closing the door behind him.
"Put me down!"
He did but held her shoulders. "Keep your voice down. Some of Felix's kinsmen are sleeping in the common room," he whispered.
She did not wish to wake anyone, but she did want away from Darack in the worst way. He had irritated her beyond bearing. She tried to twist from his grasp but he tightened his hold.
"You're naught but a wee brat throwing a tantrum," he said.
