Memories from that night had taunted him all day and now they flooded his mind. He recalled that her actions had told him she wasn't very experienced. Of course, she hadn't been a virgin. No widows were, unless their elderly husbands had been unable to perform. But 'twas obvious to him Calla had never experienced a bedding like the one he gave her. She had not truly even known how to kiss before he'd shown her.
He'd been in his early twenties at the time andbedsporthad been one of his favorite pastimes. There was no way in hades he would've refused such a beautiful lady. Aye, he'd known she was a lady, but a countess? He hadn't imagined.
"I know what you must think of me," she whispered, refusing to look at him. "But, nay, I had not done that before." She shook her head. "You have no idea how embarrassed I am right now."
"There's no need to be. I won't be telling anyone." Of course, he'd already told Lachlan, but he wouldn't breathe a word about it. "I would never think badly of you.'Twasjust one of those things that happens when two lonely people get together." Or in his case,sottedon whisky. He was rarely lonely, but mayhap she had been. And if so, he was glad he'd been there for her. "I don't regret it. And I hope you don't."
She studied him for a longer moment. "Nay."
"Good." He observed her, unsure what was going through her mind, but feeling somehow that maybe she was starting to trust him a wee bit. "I hope you don't feel I took advantage of you in a… fragile state."
"Nay. Of course not. I blame myself."
"There is no blame.'Twasa memorable night and I have to admit, I think of it sometimes."
The color of her face deepened in the firelight and she again refused to look at him.
"Do you?" he asked, knowing he was a scoundrel for asking such a thing of her. But he hoped she remembered.
"Aye," she whispered.
Her answer and her honesty sent a thrill through him. "Were you truly a widow at the time?"
She shot a panicked glance at him, then leapt from her chair. "I must return to the great hall. Lady Elena will be looking for me."
Moving quickly, he reached the door before she did and blocked her path.
She halted a foot away. "Laird Rebbinglen, I beg of you…" Her breathing hard and erratic, she covered her face and burst into tears.
"Saints. I am sorry." He took her shoulders between his hands and drew her close. "Please forgive me. I didn't mean to upset you."
She nodded, her whole body trembling in his arms.
He was shocked to discover her distress caused his chest to ache. "Shh.'Tisall right, lass."
She was so curvy and heavenly against him. The feel of her took him back a few years into the past and 'twas almost as if they now stood in the inn's room. Back then, she hadn't cried, but she had been incredibly anxious at first. Until he'd calmed her and shown her what pleasure was all about.
He drew back, looked down into her shadowed face and stroked a tear away from her soft cheek. "Don't cry." He retrieved a handkerchief from his doublet and handed it to her.
She let out a shaky breath and took the embroidered cloth. "I thank you. You must think me a ninny."
"Of course not. I've been insensitive and upset you. I shouldn't have brought up the past, but I… wondered if you remembered.'Twasnot my intent to embarrass you."
What was his intent? He was not mad enough to want a repeat of the experience, was he?
On the one hand, she was an incredibly beautiful woman who sent heat and need rushing over him when she was near, but on the other hand, he couldn't have a tryst with the cousin of the lass his father had betrothed him to, even if he had no intention of marrying the girl. Under his best friend's roof? Nay, he was not quite that scandalous. And yet….
He touched her face and lifted her chin, finding he craved her attention. When her uncertain gaze met his, he shook his head. "Stopfashingyourself," he whispered. "I don't care if you were married or a widow at the time."
'Twascertainly not the first time he'd discovered he'd accidentally bedded a married woman. Of course, he'd never done it intentionally, but if the lady lied before climbing betwixt the sheets with him… Besides, most marriages among his peers were political arrangements and 'twas a well-known fact the husbands strayed to find their pleasures. So, why not the wives, too? He believed in fairness.
Calla released a breath and closed her eyes for a second. "I thank you."
The urge to kiss her beautiful lips consumed him of a sudden. But at the same time, he felt such a move would be taking advantage of her fragile state of mind. "No need to thank me."
She afforded him a hint of a watery smile and, for the first time, he saw a glimpse of the joyful lass he'd spent a night with.
Damnation!How he wanted… He ground his teeth, forcing himself not to move, not to draw her into his arms again… and to hell with everyone else.
