Why would he do that? He looks at me like he wants nothing to do with me… What if he quits?
Fuck.
That would suck. Would he tell them why? Would he make it seem like I took advantage of him? This is bad. This could be so fucking bad.
“Aliko?”
I blink and the guys come into focus, all three of them standing in front of me looking concerned.
“Huh?”
“We’re ready to sit,” Lucien says, hooking a thumb over his shoulder, pointing toward the tables.
“Right,” I say, looking around. We’re the only ones left out here. “Yeah, let’s go.”
I push through the guys, not wanting them to ask questions about why I’m being weird. I know I’m being weird, because I feel like I’m about to have a panic attack.
What if I’ve ruined everything? Not just my working relationship with Leif, but this entire tour?
Fuck, I’m so screwed.
“Are you feeling okay?” Kael asks as we’re on our way back to the tour buses.
“Fine, why?”
Security is around us but not hovering like we’re the president. The crew is also making their way to their buses in smaller groups. Leif is in front of me, still hanging out with Cody.
Did he tell him what happened?
I don’t know Cody, so I don’t know if I can trust him. I’m already panicking about Leif; I don’t need more problems.
What the hell was I thinking?
“You’re acting weird,” Kael says.
I look at him with narrowed eyes.
Lucien and Dorian nod in agreement.
“I’m just tired.”
“Like you’re getting sick?” Lucien asks.
“I’m not getting sick,” I say, holding back my frustration. “I just need a nap. Seriously, I’m fine.”
I move faster toward the bus, leaving the guys behind. I go right to my room, shut the door, and drop onto my bed. I hear Dorian come in a few minutes later, but he doesn’t bother me. He never bothers me. That’s why this works. He knows to give me my space, just like I give him his.
Not too long after, the bus starts moving, and we’re on the road again.
Is there a way I can find Leif’s phone number? Is it listed somewhere?
Where would it be listed? I should have it, shouldn’t I? Is it weird that I don’t?
He’s my drum tech; Icouldneed to talk to him about something…drumrelated. So why don’t I have it? Because I haven’t needed anything from him, and honestly, why would I? The guy isn’t on-call for me.
It’s probably best I don’t text him anyway. If he says anything about what happened, there won’t be any real evidence. What would I even say if I texted him? I can’t tell him not to tell anyone because that makes me guilty as hell. Besides, he’s the one who didn’t want to say anything, not me.
I’m spiraling. I am spiraling so bad.
