Page 35 of The Way We Swing

He squeezed my shoulder as I sat against the couch.

The words hit harder than anything else. My stomach twisted. I’d given myself a glimmer of hope—but he was already erasing me.

The air drained from my lungs. I wanted to ask how I was supposed to forget the way he had looked at me, the way he had touched me like I mattered. But I didn’t say a word.

CHAPTER 13

We were five weeks into the school year, slouched in the back corner of our journalism classroom. The four of us had turned in our articles early, which meant we had free time. Lacy and Bella had their physics books open and were muttering about friction. Easton and I had more important priorities: surviving round seventy-three in Bloons Tower Defense 5.

“You figure out who you’re going to homecoming with yet?” Lacy asked Easton, twirling her mechanical pencil between her fingers.

“Yeah,” Easton said, swallowing hard. “I asked Ashley Gallagher last week.”

I looked up. That was news to me. I kept my face as straight as possible.

“Oh? Ashley Gallagher?” I said, trying to make my voice even, my eyes on the screen.

Lacy perked up. “I bet you did it all cute.”

“Nah. I asked her in English while studying vocab words.”

No eye contact. His tower placement was sloppy. He hadn’t upgraded his Super Monkey.

I knew I didn’t have a hold on Easton. He had said he wasn’t gay countless times. So, why did I feel like this was another rejection? I squeezed the mouse in my right hand, keeping myself from throwing it across the room.

Ashley Gallagher. I didn’t even know he talked to her.

Lacy rolled her eyes. “Wow. And she still said yes?”

“Yeah.” Flat. Like it didn’t matter.

“Well, I wouldn’t have said yes to that,” Lacy said, flipping her ponytail over one shoulder. “How about you, Quinn?”

I felt everyone look at me. My chest tightened. “Why do you care?” I said, sharper than I meant to. “You fishing for a date?”

“No, I’m already going with someone. I wanted to see who my friends were going with, but maybe we’re just not as close as I thought.”

“I haven’t asked anyone yet,” I said.

Bella looked up from her notebook, eyeing me carefully. “You better get moving. Any idea who you’re gonna ask?”

“Not yet.”

She stared me down like she had something else to say; I turned back to my game before she could ask her question. The game continued to run. Bloons spilled across the screen, unstoppable.

I remembered freshman year, standing stiffly in my rented suit while the rest of the baseball guys made jokes and posed for pictures. My date smiled, but I couldn’t recall what we talked about. If we talked at all. It was the same thing at every dance: smile, pretend, fade into the background.

Easton clicked his mouse. “You gonna add more monkeys or what?”

I stared at the blurry screen, trying to ignore it all.

I ended up asking Erin McAllister.

We had three classes together, and I’d heard she didn’t have a date yet. I didn’t do anything dramatic—no poster board, no candy, no flash mob. Even if I was into girls, that kind of thing wasn’t me. After class one day, I just pulled her aside and asked.

I should’ve been nervous, but I wasn’t. Asking a girl wasn’t risky. If she said no? Whatever. Would’ve been easier, honestly.

But she said yes. She got this huge smile on her face and even bounced when she walked off. My stomach did a turn when I saw that, knowing she thought there was more to me asking than there really was.