Yeah, it’s a terrible idea. I should call him back when I get home and just tell him no.
I take a deep breath, trying to calm my shaking body.
I didn’t even have that much caffeine today. But I think it’s the excitement of having to decide my future. That can make someone feel a little panicked.
When Zane had bandaged my hand, I had the horrible idea to lean my head against his shoulder. Luckily, I’d caught myself right before I did it, but it was a near miss. If I lived with the man, eventually I’d give in to my intrusive thoughts, and the secret would be out. He would know Ilike him, like him.
As I roll down our driveway to the Sears kit home I was raised in, I wonder how long this will feel like home.
I’ve been feeling the pressure to find my own place in the world. But the thing is, I like what I do. I like raising sheep and working cattle. I like Pine Ridge. But I keep being pressured to find someone to marry and settle down with.
I’ve tried the dating apps. But there were too many creeps out there. One man I met for dinner in Bend had shareda twenty-year-old photo as his profile picture. The man had grandchildren. I deleted the apps from my phone that night.
I’ve tried with the tourists who come through town. But the problem with tourists is that everyone wants to visit, and no one wants to stay when they realize you have to drive two hours for doctors’ appointments, groceries, or anything else you can’t get at a small market. I’d had a few summer flings that turned into a big, ol’ nothing.
I’ve tried with everybody’s random visiting cousin. I’m certain my mom has the entire town on a group text at this point, because at the holidays especially, everyone stops me to tell me which of their visiting relatives are single.
I barely escaped some awkward mistletoe kisses last year.
But in the end? I keep comparing them to one person. Zane, the guy who can laugh when he gets kicked by a cow. The guy who doesn’t yell at you if you can’t get the gate open fast enough… The guy who’s friendly to everyone. Zane isn’t exclusive with his kindness and it’s something I love about him.
Not one of the men I’ve dated has come close to being the same caliber as Zane.
The man who just offered to marry me and let me have my own project room.
With a sigh, I park next to the shop. There’s a pickup I don’t recognize parked in front of the house. Mom didn’t say anything about having company tonight.
Grandpa is sitting on the porch in the rocking chair. He’s holding a big mug of black coffee, and he looks pointedly at the chair beside him.
I give him a hug and a kiss. He’s not an affectionate person, but he loves my sisters and me. He moved in when I was seventeen. The same year Grandma passed away. We were all grieving, but I think it was exactly what Grandpa needed. He would have withered away by himself. He loved my Grandma,and her passing was so hard on him. But he also loves us and I think we’ve been enough of a distraction to give him a reason to stick around.
He loved sitting by the fire with Briar, Belle, and me to discuss all of our boy problems when Mom and Dad weren’t around. He quickly became our confidant when we were in our high school and college years.
“Better watch out. Your mom has company.”
That does not bode well.
“Is that why you’re out here?” I ask as I sit down in the chair beside him.
“It’s some guy moving out here to take over the real estate office,” Grandpa says.
A feeling of dread settles in the center of my stomach. “How old is he?”
Grandpa looks at me pointedly. “Young enough.”
I sigh. Of course, Mom would invite him over. Some new single person in town.
“How bad is he?”
Grandpa shrugs. “I’m sitting out here, aren’t I?”
“Will she ever stop?” I ask with a sigh.
“Probably once you’re married,” Grandpa replies calmly. “It’s too bad Charlie married Max. I thought you and Max got along well.”
I shake my head. “I do get along with Max, but we’ve never seen each other that way. Besides, Charlie is definitely too young for you.”
Grandpa glares at me, but I just grin. It’s no surprise that he likes Charlie, Max’s wife. She came to town after Thanksgiving last year and never left. She fell in love with Pine Ridge, and it’s safe to say most of Pine Ridge fell in love with her—including my grandpa. My mom is still holding a bit of a grudge because she held out hope that Max and I would end up together.
