“While we’re talking about big things, I want to ask how you’d feel about living together. I know it’s fast, but I want you to know it doesn’t scare me. I’m all in.”
The smile that splits across her face is my favorite one; it’s all things her. Free, wild, and full of love. “You’ve been staying here for a month straight. I kind of thought you already were in the process of that.”
“Glad to hear there’s no objections. I’ve got some big dreams for you and me. One of them is making you Mrs. Rivers.” And no diagnosis will stand in the way of it. It may make life harder, but it doesn’t make it not worth living. I needed that reminder today.
“I can’t wait to watch each and every one come true, but that particular one needs to wait until I am no longer pregnant.” She stands up on her tiptoes and laces her hands behind my neck.
I chuckle. “Guess I can wait a few more months to change your last name.” Leaning down, I kiss her and get lost. Lost in everything we have yet to become. I’ll be damned if I let anything get in the way of her happiness.
Chapter 29
Aspen
We sit in the waiting room of Rhett’s doctor. The bright fluorescent lights create a glare off the floor. I think I’ve spent more time in doctors’ offices the last few months than I have in my entire adult life. Every four weeks for me, and these two of Rhett’s really make them stack up. Rhett sits beside me, his leg bounces a million miles an hour as his eyes scan the room. His entire body is rigid and tense.
I glide my hand down his forearm and then curl my fingers around his. He grips it hard for a second before his body uncoils, relaxing as much as his anxiety will allow.
“You doing okay?” I ask, running my thumb up and down his where it’s linked with mine.
He gives me a loaded look. He’s one hundred percent sure his worst fears are coming true. He’s the farthest thing from okay. I can’t make this better for him. I can’t will this disease away, but Ican love him through it. I can help remind him that life is worth living even with a positive result.
“No matter what happens in that room, I love you. Nothing will change that.”
“I don’t think I could’ve done all this without you.” He gives my hand a loving squeeze.
I lean my body into him, resting my head on his broad shoulder. “You absolutely could’ve. You just needed a gentle shove in the right direction.”
“Honey, I think we have different ideas of subtle.”
I feel his body shake with laughter, and it warms me to know he can still find humor in his hardest moments.
A nurse comes out the swinging door, holding a clipboard. “Mr. Rivers?”
His grip on my hand tightens as we stand and make our way to her. “That’s me.”
“Great, let’s get you to the back and go over those results.” She’s a young blonde thing, with so much pep in her step that I want to smile back at her, even if the situation we’re in makes it hard to.
“Sounds good.” His voice sounds strained, weighed down by worry.
We weave through a hallway of closed doors and nurses’ desks before she places us in the room.
We sit down in a room with no bed, only a desk and a couple of chairs. Definitely not an exam room. Rhett’s hand never lets go of mine.
The nurse opens up her computer, and my guess, skims his chart to see why he’s coming in today.
“Alright, we have your results; the doctor will be going over them. I do see a note to emphasize our apologies for how long some of this took. The lab was backed up, and your initial results were sent to the wrong office. We’ve got it all straightened out,but I know waiting on results like these is tough, and we’re sorry for stringing it out longer.”
Rhett smiles; it’s empty, but I’m sure he’s trying to be kind. “Things happen. We’re all human, no worries.”
I knew the results were taking forever, but I had assumed that they downplayed how long it actually would take. Doctors like to do that.
“Thank you for your kindness. I’m going to let your doctor know you’re here. In the meantime, do you need anything?” She closes her laptop and gives us both a soft grin. She’s probably amazing to work with.
“Nope, we’re good in here,” I add in.
“Okay, it was great seeing you guys today,” she says as she closes the door behind her.
We sit in silence for a couple of minutes. While I usually love to fill every moment with some sort of chatter, sitting in silence feels better. Because there’s not much I can say until we know more. Nervousness like I've never known before creeps into me. We are minutes away from our lives changing forever. My heart hurts so badly for Rhett, I almost can’t stomach it. I stare at the pictures on the wall. Green pastures with lots of sunshine. It almost looks like a place on the ranch. What I wouldn’t give to be there right now.
