“Really? You two?”
“Well, no.” Theo started stammering, not sure what the most appropriate thing to say was in these situations. What would Lyra want him to say? Probably nothing.
I doubt she wants the world knowing she's slept with you, a spare.The word rang out in Theo's mind, managing to wound him even when there was no one else around saying it.
“But, kind of.” Theo shook his head. “No.” Wyn looked at Theo with a bemused expression, understanding better than Theo realized.
“‘Well, no, but kind of, no,’” Wyn repeated back to Theo, enunciating each word. “Understood. I've been in a few of those situations myself.”
“It's not really a situation,” Theo trailed after Wyn as he crossed the deck towards the ship's wheel. “I thinksituationis too formal a word.”
“Ah.” Wyn nodded, once again in complete understanding. It was starting to annoy Theo how Wyn was applying his own interpretations to the situation. It didn't matter that those interpretations were correct. “I’ve been in a few ofthosesituations too.”
Theo realized he wasn't going to get anywhere with Wyn and shrugged. He said nothing in response, watching as Wyn deftly navigated the boat out of the shore and into the open water.
Panic began to rise in Theo's throat. The ocean was endless, reaching out before them towards the horizon. The waves were relatively calm, but the boat moved with the tide, rocking under Theo's feet. The air got cooler as they moved away from land, salt beginning to stick to Theo's skin and hair.
“Oh god,” Theo muttered, stumbling backward until he hit a railing. His hands flew to it, tightening his grip until his knuckles were white.
“Are you all right?” Wyn studied Theo's sudden change in body language. “You look like you're about to be sick. Do you get seasick?”
Theo tried to focus on Wyn’s question, but he didn't know the answer. Did he get seasick? He hadn't been on a boat in decades. This was the most water he'd seen since he was a very young child. It was potentially the most water he'd ever seen. The eternal nature of the sea overwhelmed him, making their quest seem even more impossible.
How are we going to go up against a goddess who controls all of this?
Theo couldn't take his eyes off the inky depths, the ocean’s untameable nature striking a chord of fear in his chest.
“I don't know.” Theo managed to stammer out. “I’ve never…” he trailed off. Understanding dawned on Wyn's face. When Calum asked for his help in escorting Theo and Lyra, he filled him in on the whole situation. It didn't take long for him to remember that Theo had avoided the sea his whole life.
Theo's hands were gripping the railing, but his knees were knocking together so violently that Wyn was worried he'd bruise himself.
“Lyra,” Wyn bellowed, hoping his voice would carry below deck. “You’d better get up here.”
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
Lyra heard Wyn shouting for her from below decks. She'd been snooping in one of the books on his desk, dropping it and taking off towards the stairs in a panic. Cliodhna must be attacking them or a kelpie or…
Lyra's mind churned with the possibilities as she threw open the door to the top deck. Her eyes scanned the horizon for the imminent threat, only to find Wyn staring at Theo, who had a white-knuckle grip on the railing.
“What's the problem?” Lyra panted, her nervous system still on high alert from the imagined threat.
Wyn shook his head before nodding his chin in Theo's direction. Only then did Lyra approach them, studying Theo's appearance. Not only was he holding the railing with all his strength, but there was sweat on his brow, and his eyes were glassy. He was sucking in short breaths, barely getting any oxygen into his lungs.
Shit.Lyra bit her lip. She'd prefer a physical foe to a mental one. It was easier to punch the former in the face.
Wyn held up his hands as if to indicate ‘I’ll leave you to it,’ and disappeared below deck, whistling a jaunty tune the whole way.
“Hey, Theo?” Lyra tried carefully, keeping a few feet between them. She didn't know what to do. How did you help someone having a panic attack? You weren't supposed to wake a sleepwalker. Did the same logic apply?
She didn't have time to think about it. Theo turned towards her, a mixture of relief and gratitude on his face so potent that Lyra immediately felt guilty.
“I can't do this,” he gasped, his hands still not leaving the railing.
Lyra could see blood on his fingertips where the wood had started to splinter.
“Do what?” she kept her voice as calm as she could, resorting to the tactics she used when her little sister had cried as a child.
“This!” Theo finally released the railing, gesturing toward the wide-open sea. “I’m responsible for dragging my brother into this mess, for putting you in harm's way. Now Wyn is in danger?—”
