“Theo, stop,” Lyra commanded, gentle but firm. She stepped closer to him, putting one hand on his arm and tugging his wrist further away from the railing.
“None of this is your fault. You have to know that.” She tried to keep her tone light, as if she were discussing something as obvious as the color of the sky.
“That's where you're wrong…” Theo trailed off, his rapid breathing still obscuring his speech. Theo was as pale as Lyra had ever seen him, his eyes wild with fear. It frightened her, striking at her heart in places she'd thought she closed off to people long ago.
“Theo. Breathe.” Lyra forced the tenderness in her voice aside, leaving no room for interpretation in the command. Theo looked slightly taken aback, but he did what she said, managing to suck in a full breath.
“Good. Again. In and out.” Lyra stayed with him, the sea wind whipping her hair around her face, hands on his arms, until his breathing slowed down. He swayed slightly, as though he was going to faint, and Lyra gently guided him down to the deck until he was sitting.
Theo crossed his legs, and Lyra kneeled in front of him. In any other situation, the sight of such a tall, broad fae sitting like a child in a schoolroom would've been entertaining. Theo's knees were practically up next to his ears.
“Now,” Lyra stared Theo dead in the eye, “when you were born, did you curse your parents?”
Theo rolled his eyes. Lyra would've normally taken it as a challenge, but she was thrilled to see he was feeling stable enough for sarcasm.
“Well, that's hardly?—”
“That was a yes or no question.” Lyra raised an eyebrow at Theo, interrupting him.
“No,” Theo murmured, rather glumly, almost as if he were disappointed by the fact.
“Mmhmm.” Lyra pursed her lips smugly. “Did you curse yourself?”
“No.” Theo hung his head a little lower still.
“I’m having a very hard time seeing how you are the person to blame for all of this.” Lyra softened her approach. Even in the midst of this chaos, under the constant threat, Theo had been positive and almost excited. She hated seeing him like this.
“I don't know,” Theo muttered under his breath. “At every turn, I don't know what to do. So many people have been tangled up in this now, you included.” Lyra’s heart broke a little at that. “I saw the sea and panicked.” Theo finally admitted, turning his gaze away from Lyra and out towards the horizon.
“I’ve never been on a boat like this before.” Theo shrugged. Lyra said nothing for a minute, giving Theo the space to processhis feelings. She couldn't imagine what it would have been like to grow up so far removed from the water. It would be different for a fae versus a siren, but still, it couldn't have been pleasant.
“It's shocking; I'm sure,” Lyra offered lamely, unable to find words for the magnitude that Theo was feeling.
Another few moments of silence passed between them, and Lyra’s consciousness was a stone in her chest. Theo was so terrified, not even for himself, but for the mere suggestion that he was a burden. He worried about his brother, Calum's kingdom… He worried about her. What did everyone keep telling him? That it would be okay. They would figure it out. He had a support system behind him.
A support system with a gaping hole in it, roughly the size of you.Lyra's thoughts unhelpfully reminded her.
Suddenly, she was the one who was panicking. She was a little bit better at concealing it than Theo was, but her heart was racing, and the open sea that threatened Theo now seemed to hold her in its jaws. She'd tried to tell Theo once before, and that failed attempt was sitting on her shoulders. The tenderness in Theo's expression as he turned to her, grabbing her hand in his, cracked Lyra wide open. She was exposed and vulnerable in a way she never planned to be, ever again, but there was only one path forward now.
If Theo was going to have to be brave, so was she. Her sister was innocent in all of this. Surely, Calum would find a way to help her too? Nevermind Lyra. She had been prepared to die when she broke Calum's bargain, and that hadn't changed. But she would die with a clean conscience.
She wanted to look at Theo without feeling a churn of uneasiness in her gut. She wanted him again before her life was forfeit, if he'd have her. No sensible person would, but she'd hold out hope for it.
“What is it?” Theo cocked his head, studying her expression, which now looked equally devastated.
“Let's go downstairs.” She nodded towards the door disappearing below deck. “I want to talk to you and Wyn.”
At Lyra's sudden insistence,she was now sitting at a table with Wyn, Theo, and Calum, the latter attending via a video call. Wyn had poured whisky for the table—there had been some disparaging mention of tea she couldn't recall—and Lyra downed hers without a moment's hesitation.
Theo smirked at her, making a playful retort, but Lyra caught Wyn's darkening stare and the way Calum's posture tensed. They were used to being in rooms with war prisoners, traitors, and strategists. Lyra's body language and rapid consumption of whisky clearly indicated she did not have positive news for them.
“The reason I've asked you all…” Lyra started and stopped. Her voice cracked. Sweat was dripping down her back, and her palms were clammy. Never in a million years did she think she’d be in this position, ready to sell out a goddess of the sea for the fae court of Scotland.
“Go on.” Calum's voice was clear and authoritative, even through video. He crossed his arms over his chest, and Lyra had a feeling he already knew what she was about to say.
Fuck it, then,Lyra thought to herself, taking one last deep breath. She closed her eyes and let the words come out of her in a whoosh.
“Cliodhna has my sister. She will kill her unless I deliver Theo to her.”
