Nell monitored the decks while I stood beside Lily, doing my best to calm myself down.
Lily took it all in, the equipment, the lights, the wires, where we stood, and then out at the crowd. She leaned towards my ear, speaking loudly over the speakers. “You guys look so fucking cool up here.”
I leaned forwards, inhaling her as I spoke next to her ear, super close. “Just trying to put on a good show.”
“It’s the best. I’m having so much fun.” She danced a bit extra, wiggling her shoulders.
“That’s all I want.” I smiled.
She put her hand on my waist to come in even closer, stepping into my space. “Seriously, I love your taste in music, and the way you’re mixing. I honestly feel like yours is the best gig I’ve been to in years.”
I turned my cheek, brushing hers a tiny bit. All I wanted to do was lean in and kiss her, which was crazy. I didn’t even know her. “That’s great.” I wasn’t sure she heard that as I didn’t say it very loud and my voice cracked a bit.
Our eyes caught and I had to check myself. We were on stage in front of people. I was playing a set. Nell was handling it but I needed to get back. “I’ll send the mix to you if you want?”
“Wow, yes please!” She beamed, moving back, lightly squeezing my arm. “I’d better let you get back. Thanks for inviting me up. It’s a huge privilege. See you soon.”
And with that, she was away.
I gazed past where she’d been, struck by how much I liked this person already.
“I need you over here,” Nell called, her eyes wide. “I can’t do the next one.”
I played the rest of the set, approaching the point of no return. The first time I was going to play live as a solo artist on stage since the band. I took a deep breath.
“You ready, Rona?”
“No. But I’ll never be. Let’s do it.”
“They’re gonna love them. I know it.”
With it being a live DJ set I didn’t have to talk but I found that it made for a better feeling to say something. Even just a simple thank you went a long way towards connecting with the audience and I pushed myself to speak despite how nervous it made me. That and the fact that I was now about to sing made me feel like I needed to say something.
Turning the music off at the end of the song, I picked up the microphone, my heart racing and my palms sweating.
“Hi guys.”
The noise that came back nearly made me stumble.
“Oh wow, thank you for that. You guys are amazing!”
Huge cheers went around.
“I have a couple of new songs I want to play for you.”
More cheering.
My friends were probably the loudest. I loved them so much.
“I hope you like them.”
A flutter dropped through my stomach. Nell and I had practiced at home. This was no different.
In the end, all I wanted was for the audience to like my new songs. I cared more than I wanted to admit to myself. Pushing those vulnerable feelings to one side, I nodded to Nell and she played the first few notes on the keyboard. I dropped in the bassline, followed by sounds on my electronic touch pad, to serve as the rhythm. I built and built, with the help of Nell. By the time I started singing, I felt goosebumps rise on my arms. I fucking loved this song. It meant so much to me.
And the audience seemed to enjoy it too based on the hands in the air and the increase in decibel level.
Relief swooped through me faster than my mind could catch up with.
